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My Dad Asked How I’ll “Fill the Fridge.” Here’s a Better Question.
A quote from Star Trek and a painful phone call showed me we’re asking the wrong question about our work, our lives, and our purpose.
Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash
You know the question. You’ve heard it from a parent, a friend, or the nagging voice in your own head at 3 a.m.
“So… how are you going to fill the fridge?”
It’s a question born of love and concern, rooted in a world where survival is the baseline. I (Cristof) got it from my dad just this morning. He was congratulating me on our new newsletter before deftly pivoting to the critique: “The only thing that’s not clear to me is how are you going to fill the fridge?”
He’s not wrong. But the question itself is the problem.
It had me thinking about a quote I’d just read in Rainn Wilson’s book, Soul Boom (affiliate link). On page 16, he quotes Captain Picard from Star Trek:
“Money doesn’t exist in the 24th century. The acquisition of wealth is no longer the driving force in our lives. We work to better ourselves and the rest of humanity.”
When I read that, I didn’t feel a sci-fi fantasy. I felt a deep, resonant longing. Not for a world without money, but for a world where our driving force has fundamentally shifted.
Look at the immense dissatisfaction, the lack of meaning, the rising depression and suicide rates in the most “developed” countries. It’s a screaming signal that more wealth only matters to a certain point. Beyond that, it’s empty calories for the soul.
I know this because I’ve eaten those calories. I’ve been in the high-paying world of investment banking and capital markets advisory. It was absolutely soul-sucking. I knew if I stayed on that path, focusing only on maximizing my income, I would be dead in 10, 15, or 20 years. Maybe not physically, but emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. I’d be a ghost in a gold-plated cage.
So, we made a choice.
(Sophia here.) Let me paint a picture of that choice. Around 2012, Cristof joined a folk-rock band touring the US Southeast. We lived under the poverty line. We didn’t own a cell phone. We lived in a 450-square-foot apartment and shared one car. A croissant at Starbucks was a luxury we actively calculated against our rent.
When our cat got sick, we took on a $4,000 credit card loan for her surgery. That was our reality.
Make no mistake, we are not glorifying having less or making poverty a virtue.
But here’s the secret no one tells you: we weren’t miserable.
We aspired for more but didn’t feel poor. We felt purposeful. We were living a life of our choosing. We could have gone back to six-figure jobs, but we consciously chose a different path. The music Cristof was creating, the meditation videos I was making — it felt transformative. We were giving value, and that provided a sense of contentment no paycheck had ever matched.
We weren’t “Wealth-Acquirers.” We were becoming “Value-Givers.”
And that is the identity shift that changes everything.
The Identity Shift: From “Wealth-Acquirer” to “Value-Giver”
The old paradigm forces you to ask: “What do I need to DO to earn money?” This question puts you in a constant state of lack and chasing. You are always behind, always trying to extract from the world in order to…
fill your fridge,
fill your house,
fill your bank account.
The new paradigm, the one that Picard hinted at and we’ve lived, starts with a different identity: “I am a Value-Giver.”
The core belief is this:
I am a person who gives value and thrives financially, emotionally, and spiritually. My thriving is directly proportionate to me giving my true, authentic self. The more I give, the more I receive.
This isn’t spiritual bypassing. We live in a society that requires money. The goal isn’t to become a monk or nun who renounces money (unless that’s your calling!). The goal is to flip the equation.
Instead of doing things to get money, you focus on giving immense value, and you learn to monetize that value in an aligned, integral way. When you do this, the money that follows feels like a natural byproduct of your service, not the grim reward for your soul’s surrender.
Your work becomes like that of a monk or nun — you are taking care of a core need (spiritual, creative, transformational) for your community, and the community, in turn, supports you. It’s a virtuous cycle. It’s no wonder studies often find clergy among the happiest of professionals. They live in the flow of giving and receiving.
Your Simple & Aligned Starter Kit to Become a Value-Giver
This shift starts in the mind long before it manifests in the bank account. Here are two simple practices we use daily to cement this new identity.
1. The Daily Value Question (From Cristof)
Every morning, I journal the answer to this one question:
“What’s one thing I can do today to be of service to others?”
I just jot down whatever comes through my stream of consciousness. It takes not even two minutes. This isn’t about crafting a business plan; it’s about setting a daily intention. It immediately orients your brain away from “what can I get?” and toward “what can I give?” The answers can be as simple as “send that encouraging email to a fellow creator” or “finally write that post that’s been on my heart.”
2. The 3–6–9 Abundance Alignment
This is a powerful method to reprogram your subconscious and connect your authentic gifts with financial abundance.
First, craft your new identity statement, such as “I am a person who gives value and thrives financially, emotionally, and spiritually,” see the core belief above. Then repeat it throughout the day, saying it out loud:
3 times over breakfast
6 times after lunch
9 times just before bed.
3. Bridge the Gap with “What If?” (From Sophia)
This final journaling prompt is where the magic happens, building a neural bridge between your authentic desires and your abundant future. This is how we shatter the myth that giving your gifts and building wealth are mutually exclusive.
The journaling prompt is:
“What if my life was filled with financial abundance by expressing the gifts that are wanting to come through me? What is it that I truly want to express in this world, knowing that me doing so is my most expansive, abundant expression — financially and spiritually?”
This exercise isn’t about begging the universe for a check. It’s about building a neural bridge between your deepest, most authentic joy and the belief that it deserves and can create abundance.
The Journey Ahead
This journey from the “soul-suck” of chasing money to the fulfillment of being a Value-Giver isn’t a random event. Sophia has actually mapped out the exact spiritual and psychological process for how this shift happens, which we call The Bridge to Your Next Self. We’ll be diving deep into that framework in one of our next pieces.
It all starts by changing the question you ask yourself. Stop asking, “How will I fill the fridge?”
Start asking, “How can I fill my soul by filling the souls of others?”
The fridge (and other forms of bounty), I promise you, will follow.
If this resonated with you, you’re our people. We explore the power of mind, manifesting, and identity shifting every week in our free Simple & Aligned newsletter. It’s where we share our raw journeys, practical tips, and insights. It’s about building a life and business that feels good, from the inside out.
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How We Learned to Stop Chasing Outcomes and Finally Found Real Abundance
These affirmations transformed our anxious hustle into a practice of peace.
(Spoiler: It’s all about where you place your focus).
For years, we wore our ability to hustle as a badge of honor. Acquired clients, finished projects, record years — each achievement was a momentary dopamine hit that quickly faded, leaving only the relentless hum of the next goal, the next milestone.
We were successful by external standards, but internally, we felt a quiet disillusionment. The outcomes we’d sacrificed so much for never provided the lasting happiness we’d been promised.
If you’ve ever reached a goal and felt a surprising emptiness, you’re not alone. You’ve likely been playing a game where the rules are rigged. The rule is: Your worth and happiness are determined by the outcome.
We discovered a single, powerful mantra that changed the rules of the game entirely. It’s the core of a set of affirmations we created that have since resonated with many on our platform:
“I detach from outcomes. I focus on inputs.”
This isn’t a call to apathy. It’s the ultimate power move. It’s about shifting your entire energy from being a passive passenger waiting for a result to becoming the conscious architect of your daily experience. This is the hustler’s antidote.
Here’s how we break down this philosophy into actionable inputs, affirmations to write by hand in your journal or say out loud to yourself, each one an antidote to a specific pain of the outcome-driven life.
Antidote to Scarcity & Burnout: The Input of Nurturing Your Inner State
The old model tells us abundance comes from the next raise, the next sale, the next personal best. This creates a constant state of lack. The new model starts within — with inner wholeness.
“My abundance comes from within me.” This affirmation roots your sense of wealth in an unshakable internal foundation, not external validation.
“I keep my vibrations high.” Your energy is your greatest currency. This is the commitment to choosing thoughts, media, and environments that uplift you.
“I invest time for my healing and rest.” This was our hardest lesson. We had to reframe rest not as laziness, but as a non-negotiable input for sustained creativity and energy. Without it, you are a battery running on empty.
The Shift: You are no longer draining yourself to get a result. You are filling yourself as the primary practice, and results become a natural byproduct.
Antidote to Meaningless Work: The Input of Creating Value & Purifying Intentions
When you’re fixated on a outcome — a dollar figure, a title, whatever — your work can become a transactional means to an end. This often drains the joy from it. The input-focused mindset shifts the intention behind the action.
“I create immense value for others.” Focus purely on this. Make this your only metric for a day’s work. Did I create value? As an intention, this is entirely within your control.
“I purify negative karma through visualizing white light.” This is a profound tool. Before a meeting or after a conflict, visualize a white light dissolving any transactional, manipulative, or anxious energy. Set a pure intention of helping others be successful.
“I am generous to others.” Generosity is the practice of believing in infinite abundance. It reinforces that there is enough to share, right now and always.
The Shift: Your work becomes a practice of giving, not getting. This is how you find flow and meaning in the process itself.
Antidote to Overwhelm & Clutter: The Input of Strategic Focus
Outcome-thinking is chaotic. It has you chasing a hundred different tactics for your desired results. Input-thinking is calm and strategic. It’s about identifying the few things that truly matter to you and focusing on them with relentless consistency.
“I let go of all clutter; physical, digital, and mental.” Clutter has many reasons; one of them is the physical manifestation of outcome anxiety. Letting it go is a radical act of trust in your ability to handle the present.
“I destroy all doubt, negativity, self-criticism, and complaining.” These are the mental weeds that choke the seeds of your efforts. You must actively weed your garden every single day.
“I focus on effort and consistency.” These are the only inputs you ever need to worry about. Did I put in the focused effort? Did I show up consistently? If yes, the day was a success, regardless of the external result.
The Shift: You move from reactive chaos to proactive clarity. Your energy is concentrated, not dissipated.
Antidote to Anxiety: The Input of Visualization & Presence
Anxiety lives in the future — in the terrifying gap between where you are and an uncertain outcome you’re attached to. The solution isn’t to stop looking forward, but to do it differently.
“I visualize myself as already having, being, and doing all I want.” This is not magical thinking. It’s neural programming. It’s giving your subconscious mind a blueprint to work from, making the desired future feel familiar and attainable. It’s the joyful feeling of the outcome, now.
“I visualize peace. I am at peace. I create peace and abundance.” You can’t hustle your way to peace. You have to invoke it. This practice actively generates the inner state you wish to see reflected in your outer world.
The Shift: You stop anxiously waiting for peace and abundance and start actively generating them in your inner world, right now.
Detaching from outcomes and mastering your inputs is the most profound work you can do. It transforms your life from a desperate chase into a purposeful, joyful, and aligned creation.
This is the work we are dedicated to at Simple and Aligned.
We created a visual meditation on these exact affirmations. Watch the TikTok video here to feel the power of this practice.
Want to go deeper?
If this philosophy resonates with you, we invite you to join our weekly newsletter, ‘The Simple and Aligned Newsletter.’ It’s designed for professionals like you who are ready to align their mind and their life.
✨ Here’s what you’ll get when you join:
Mindset-Expanding Affirmations: Gentle reminders to realign with what matters.
Quotes and Insights from Books: Curated wisdom from the books we review to spark new ideas.
Instant Access to Our Free Resource Library: A $99 value, including guides like: Align Your Finances: Merge money with your values; The 100K Consult Call Script: A step-by-step for client calls (perfect for freelancers); Intentions Manifested: An ebook of guided visual journeys; Self-Referential Reflection Worksheet: To turn inward with clarity.
Start your week grounded, confident, and aligned.
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We release one of these value-packed editions every week. It’s our way of helping you focus on the inputs that create a life of meaning, flow, and abundance.
Abundance
Abundance is the Intention for Today.
Let abundance into your life. How? Just know that all that you desire is right here. If a desire can emerge within you, the Universe can manifest that desire in to the physical plane.
Thank you Abundance for opening up so much for us.
PS: Think of Abundance as a state-of-mind and then see the shift that happens within you and for you.
Intention for Today: Abundance
The intention for today is Abundance.
Put your abundance hat on today. Get into the mind-set of abundance. When you see a tree next time, remark on the abundance of leaves on it. Or when you walk in the grass, remember how flourishing and opulent our world is. Think of the handful of squirrels in the forest who have tons and tons of acorns and nuts and other delicacies to feed on - a seemingly unlimited supply of resources. That is the same with you. There is a seemingly unlimited supply of everything your heart desires. Tap into abundance mode today.
Thank you Abundance for giving us a world of plenty.
Intention for Today: Abundance
Abundance is the intention for today.
May we contemplate today on how abundant our universe is, how abundant our life is. Let us open up to the abundance that is already here. Let us allow feelings of abundance in every aspect of our being. May we see abundance everywhere our eyes fall. May we feel gratitude for the abundance in our experience. Let the abundance of possibilities free our minds and hearts.
Thank you Abundance for being here.