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Manifesting Isn’t About Getting What You Want
It’s about becoming who you already are. The moment I understood this, my reality had no choice but to change.
For years, I believed in the grind.
If I wanted the dream life — the ocean-view home, the thriving business, the financial freedom — I had to work hard for it. I had to hustle. I’d set a big goal, my stomach would knot with a mix of ambition and anxiety, and I’d start the slog.
The to-do lists were long. The effort was real. But so was the underlying vibration of lack. The nagging whisper: “Is this ever going to actually pay off?”
Every task, from writing a crucial article to the mundane admin of transferring blog posts between accounts, felt like a heavy “have-to.” I was building my future from a place of exhaustion, not excitement.
Then, a simple yet radical idea from Neville Goddard’s book The Power of Awareness (affiliate link to book) stopped me in my tracks. It reframed everything I thought I knew about manifesting:
“Manifesting is nothing but experiencing the results of your concepts of yourself in the world.”
Let that sink in for a moment.
It’s not about visualizing harder or reciting a thousand affirmations. It’s not about forcing the right action. It’s about your self-concept. Your identity. The state of consciousness from which you operate.
Neville goes on to say,
“Consciousness is the one and only reality.”
The world, he explains, has no motive of its own. It operates with “motiveless necessity,” meaning it has to reflect the arrangement of your mind — the sum total of all you believe and consent to be true.
My problem wasn’t a lack of action; it was the state from which I was acting. I was acting from “Sophia who wants and struggles,” instead of “Sophia who already has and enjoys.”
The shift happened in a morning meditation. Instead of wanting the ocean-view home, I decided to feel what it would be like to already have it. I felt the salty air on my skin, the vast, calm horizon, the deep, unshakable peace and financial abundance that view represented.
I bathed in that feeling for five minutes. Then I got up to face my day.
My to-do list was the same. I had to transfer a backlog of articles to our new Medium channel. But something was different.
The task that used to feel like a draining, doubtful chore now felt… pleasant. It felt like the ocean breeze. I was energized, motivated, and confident that this small, aligned action was part of a natural, unfolding process. I was no longer building my reality; I was expressing the reality I had already claimed within.
This is the secret they don’t tell you about “massive action.”
When you act from the “wish fulfilled,” your action transforms.
It becomes motivated: You’re not forcing yourself; you’re flowing with inspiration.
It becomes intelligent: Your intuition guides you to the most effective actions, not the most exhausting ones.
It becomes magical: The “bridge of incidents” — Neville’s term for the unfolding path — appears, offering solutions you could never have forced.
Let me give you a real-life example.
We’re building our coaching business, which means we need to get in front of people. The hustle mindset says: “Cold email 100 people! Go network! Grind!”
But from our new state of aligned creators, our intuition nudged us to simply book a yoga class at our local community center. While signing up, we noticed a link in the town newsletter: “Apply to Become an Instructor.”
Following the nudge, I filled out the form. It took five minutes. The next day, we had a meeting. A day after that, we were scheduling dates and fees. Suddenly, we were being offered a platform to reach tens of thousands of people in the town’s next Parks & Rec guide — not as yoga instructors, but to teach our program, ‘Ace Your Goals.’
No hustle. Just ease. The path unfolded because we were in the state of people for whom visibility is natural and easy.
Your Practical Framework: The “State Shift” Method
If you’re tired of the grind, try this. Don’t just read it — do it.
Know What You Want. Get specific. Is it $10,000 a month? A soulmate? Perfect health?
Identify the Core Feeling. Why do you want it? Is it security? freedom? joy? love? The feeling is the real goal.
Step Into the Identity. Who are you being once you have it? For five minutes, close your eyes and feel that feeling now. Be the person for whom this reality is a normal, natural fact.
Pro Tip: Do this 3x daily.
Morning: To set the tone for your day.
After Lunch: To reset and reclaim your state before your second work shift.
Before Bed: To let your subconscious mind work on it overnight.
This isn’t about denying your 3D reality; it’s about changing the source of your creation within it. You stop rearranging the external furniture and start rebuilding the internal foundation.
The World Mirrors Your Inner State
The bills might still be on the counter. The inbox might still be full. But from the state of the wish fulfilled, you handle it all with a new energy. You are no longer a beggar hoping the universe will provide. You are the architect, operating from the completed blueprint.
You are giving yourself the feeling you’ve been chasing all along. And in doing so, you become a magnet for the circumstances that match it.
The transformation begins when you stop trying to create your reality and start experiencing it from within.
Ready to Move From Knowing to Living It?
Understanding the theory is one thing. Consistently living in the state of the wish fulfilled is another. It requires practice, guidance, and a community that speaks your language.
Inside our free Skool community, Shift Your Identity (SYI), that’s exactly what you’ll find. This is where you can:
Practice the State: Get daily, structured guidance to help you embody these teachings.
Find Your People: Connect with a powerful community of like-minded creators and manifestors.
Get Unstuck: Receive the accountability and support to move through doubts and witness your own bridge of incidents unfold.
If you’re ready to replace the hustle with a feeling of natural, oceanic ease, you belong with us.
Click here to join the Shift Your Identity (SYI) community for free.
Your new state is waiting.
The Missing Link Between Enlightenment and Manifestation
How I resolved the conflict between wanting nothing and creating everything — and how you can, too.
Photo by Lance Grandahl on Unsplash
Let’s get straight to the heart of something I struggled with for a long time.
This path of spiritual growth and conscious creation… it can feel confusing. Contradictory, even.
And if you’re feeling that tension, you’re not alone.
Something tells me you’re someone who feels deeply called to both inner peace and outer creation.
You want the freedom the Buddha spoke of, but you also feel the pull to manifest a life you love.
And if that’s true, you’ve likely felt the friction between these two worlds.
From my own journey and the work we do, I’ve seen that this conflict often shows up in a few key ways. See if one of these feels familiar.
The Seeker: You’ve studied the path to end suffering, but you wonder if that means you have to give up on your dreams and desires.
You feel a pull towards non-attachment, but you also have goals, a business to run, a life to build. It feels like a choice between being spiritual or being successful.
What you need isn’t to abandon your desires, but to understand how fulfilling them can actually be part of your path to freedom.
The Manifestor: You’ve tried using the law of assumption, but it often leaves you feeling more attached, more desperate for the 3D world to confirm your imaginal act.
You visualize and feel the feeling, but a part of you is still anxiously checking — did it work? This very craving, as the Buddha taught, is the root of the suffering you’re trying to escape.
This isn’t a failure of the technique. It’s a misunderstanding of its highest purpose.
The Integrator: You sense these two truths must be connected, but the bridge between them has always felt vague and intellectual if not outright elusive.
You’re ready for a practice that doesn’t just sound good, but that feels like a profound relief in your body and mind — the relief of true alignment.
Wherever you see yourself, the resolution isn’t about choosing one master over the other.
It’s about finding the one powerful point where their teachings fuse into a single, liberating practice.
It all comes down to a single, misunderstood moment: the moment you generate the “feeling of the wish fulfilled.”
Most people use this feeling to fuel their craving for the 3D world. This, according to the Buddha’s precise map of the mind, only creates more suffering.
But when you do it correctly — when you generate the feeling as an end in itself — something miraculous happens.
Relief. Satisfaction. Peace.
The craving doesn’t just get quieter. It stops. In that moment, you have everything you actually wanted. The thirst is quenched in your imagination. The 3D manifestation becomes a secondary detail.
You are no longer manifesting from a place of hunger. You are creating from a place of satiation.
This is the “forbidden alignment” we discovered. The Buddha gave us the map to end suffering. Neville gave us a precise tool to walk it.
If you’re ready to experience this shift, we explore it deeply in our article, “The Forbidden Alignment: What the Buddha and Neville Goddard Secretly Agree On.”
This is the work we live and breathe in our free Skool community, Shift Your Identity. It’s a place to move from conflict to clarity, together.
Remember, the most powerful shift is an inward one.
Make the shift inwardly, and the mirror of life is bound to conform.
With alignment,
Sophia & Cristof
Have You Taken a Pause That Changed Everything?
Life doesn’t slow down just because you want it to.
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
Let’s be honest.
Life doesn’t slow down just because you want it to.
For years, I was racing. Twelve-hour days. Screens lighting my face. Chasing the next deal, the next project, the next “win.”
I thought that’s what success looked like.
But at some point… I realized I wasn’t living. I was hustling.
Then life made me stop.
Stage 1: You feel the shift coming, but don’t know how to pause.
For me, it was a hurricane. Hurricane Helene. We had to evacuate. Nature itself paused.
And suddenly… I heard it. That quiet whisper I’d been ignoring:
“What if you stopped?”
Not just for a moment. But deeply.
I had spent years defining myself by performance. By output. By doing.
But in that pause, I realized how empty all the chasing had become.
Stage 2: You try to pause, but old habits scream.
During evacuation, a friend offered me a trading project. My reflex said yes. My people-pleaser said yes.
But my heart whispered: no.
For the first time, I actually listened. Saying no wasn’t rejecting opportunity — it was reclaiming sanity.
That was the first sacred pause I ever took.
Stage 3: You’re ready to make the pause your practice.
After that, I began experimenting. Sometimes just three minutes a day. Breathing. Sitting. Listening.
Writing. Healing. Healing through writing.
And something shifted. My life reorganized itself.
I discovered: peace doesn’t come from controlling life. It comes from being fully present. It comes from uncovering layers of conditioned habits, one at a time.
Prayer is speaking. Meditation is listening. Why not do both?
Creation becomes a conversation — a two-way flow.
The Antidote to Hustle
Every morning, I ask myself:
“What is one thing that is sacred to me today?”
It rewired my life. Turned productivity into purpose. Made peace my portfolio.
I work differently now. I show up differently. I serve from overflow instead of stress.
Your turn
Pause isn’t about stopping the world. It’s about finding your center inside it.
Take a moment today. Breathe. Ask:
What is one thing that is sacred to me today? How can I honor or protect it?
Hold it. Breathe into it. Let it guide your actions today.
If this resonates… know you’re not alone.
We’re building a space called Shift Your Identity for people who want to live from peace, not pressure; from purpose, not hustle.
It’s where we explore, reflect, and support each other in creating lives that align with our deepest truth.
Because peace isn’t a luxury. It’s your birthright. And the pause? That’s how you reclaim it.
With alignment,
Cristof
The Forbidden Alignment: What the Buddha and Neville Goddard Secretly Agree On
How a 2,600-year-old Buddhist truth and a modern manifestation secret point to the exact same method for finding peace and realizing your goals.
Image created with the help of Canva AI
I (Sophia) was having a crisis of faith, and I bet you’ve felt it too.
On one hand, I am a devoted student of the Buddha’s path. My mornings begin with taking refuge. I am convinced his teachings on the end of suffering are the ultimate truth. The Dhamma is my compass.
On the other hand, I was diving deep into the work of Neville Goddard. His teachings on the power of imagination to shape reality were producing tangible results. But a quiet, persistent voice in my heart kept whispering:
“Are you being led astray? Is this desire for manifestation pulling you away from the freedom from desire?”
It felt like I was trying to serve two masters. One promised enlightenment; the other promised the world. The cognitive dissonance was a low-grade hum of spiritual anxiety.
This morning, a line from Neville’s The Power of Awareness (affiliate link to book) made me ponder:
“There is only one substance. This substance is consciousness. It is your imagination which forms this substance into concepts. Which concepts are then manifested as conditions, circumstances, and physical objects.”
I brought it to Cristof, whose understanding of the Buddha’s teachings is profound. “This,” I said, “reminds me of Dependent Origination.”
What happened next wasn’t just an intellectual exercise. It was the key that unlocked the door between my two worlds. The relief was immediate and physical — a literal weight lifted from my chest. We realized we hadn’t found a contradiction; we had found the secret bridge.
And it all hinges on one powerful, misunderstood link: craving.
The Meeting Point of Two Giants
For those unfamiliar, the Buddha’s teaching on Dependent Origination is a practical map of how the mind works and suffering arises. It’s a twelve-link chain, and a crucial part of it goes like this:
Consciousness leads to…
Body-Mind (Name & Form) which leads to…
The Six Senses (sight, sound, smell, taste, touch… and the mind as the sixth sense, the one that imagines) that allow for…
Contact between a sense and an object (including a thought or mental image), leading to…
Feeling (the pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral experience from that contact; not to be confused with emotion), turning into…
Craving (the “I like this, I want more” or “I hate this, I want it gone” reaction).
This craving is the engine of suffering. It’s what makes us cling, grasp, and ultimately feel pain when reality doesn’t match our wants.
Now, let’s look at Neville through this lens.
Neville says the one substance is Consciousness.
Your Imagination (the sixth sense) forms this consciousness into concepts. This is the Contact with a mental object.
Next, the Feeling of that concept arises. Neville calls this the “feeling of the wish fulfilled.”
And here is where the magic happens. Where the two teachings don’t just align — they complete each other.
The Hack Isn’t Getting; It’s Stopping
The common mistake in manifestation is to feel the “wish fulfilled” with the desperate energy of craving for the 3D world to confirm it. We feel the feeling in order to get the thing. This, according to the Buddha’s map, directly fuels the chain of suffering.
But what Neville actually taught — and what we so often miss — is that the feeling of the wish fulfilled is an end in itself.
When you successfully generate the feeling that your desire is already fulfilled, what happens?
Relief. Satisfaction. Peace.
The thirst is quenched. The hunger is satiated. In that moment of genuine, embodied feeling, the craving stops.
You have, using Neville’s technique, actively broken the Buddha’s chain of suffering before it could create more suffering.
You are no longer “manifesting from lack.” You are “manifesting from satiation.” You have your desire realized in the only place it has ever truly existed: in your consciousness. The 3D manifestation becomes a secondary confirmation, a natural echo, not the source of your happiness. You can enjoy it when it appears, and you are equally at peace if it hasn’t yet, because your state of fulfillment is internal and untouchable.
This is the ultimate freedom. It’s not the absence of desire; it’s the absence of craving. The Buddha provided the comprehensive map to end suffering — the Noble Eightfold Path. What Neville Goddard offers is a powerful, precise tool for navigating one of the most difficult parts of that map: dissolving the craving of a specific desire before it takes root.
Your 2-Minute Practice to Dissolve Craving
This isn’t just philosophy. It’s a tool you can apply daily to keep desires from turning into craving. Here’s how you can use it today.
Identify the “Why” Behind the “What”: Pick a desire. Let’s say it’s “$10,000 a month.” Now, ask: ”What feeling would having that give me?” Is it security? Freedom? Validation? A sense of being capable and successful?
Step Into the Feeling, Not the Vision: Close your eyes. For just two minutes, forget the money. Forget the bank statement. Instead, generate the core feeling itself.
→ Feel the shoulders-drop relief of security.
→ Feel the deep-breath expansiveness of freedom.
→ Feel the chest-out confidence of being capable.Rest in the Relief: Linger in this feeling. Let it feel real and true right now. As Neville said, you must feel it so real that you experience a sense of relief, as if the thing is done. The moment you feel that relief, the craving for the external object vanishes. You have what you actually wanted all along.
It’s like the child who, unable to have a cat, imagines petting one so vividly they feel the joy and purring. They aren’t desperate for the physical cat in that moment; they are satiated by the feeling of love and joy. That feeling is the true goal.
Walking the Path, Aligned
This realization was our liberation from spiritual conflict. We no longer have to choose between the path to enlightenment and the tools for a well-lived life. They are two languages describing the same truth: consciousness is primary, and freedom is found not in getting what you want, but in no longer being enslaved by the wanting itself.
You can be a powerful creator of your own reality and a peaceful Buddha-in-training. In fact, one is the surest path to the other.
Ready to make this shift with a supportive community?
This synthesis of mind, manifesting, and identity is what we live and breathe in our free Skool community, Shift Your Identity (SYI). It’s a place where we move beyond theory and into practice.
Inside SYI, you get:
A supportive community to share your journey and successes.
Live Q&A calls where we dive deeper into these alignments.
Practical teachings on identity shifting to make these states a permanent part of your being.
Stop feeling the conflict and start experiencing the alignment.
Click here to join our free Shift Your Identity (SYI) community.
The Sacred Pause
How slowing down became my greatest source of peace
Photo by Frames For Your Heart on Unsplash
It’s funny how easy it is to get caught up in speed — in the endless doing, the striving, the measuring. For years, my days started and ended with screens. Twelve hours of staring at glowing rectangles, chasing the next deal, the next trade, the next client project.
At some point, I wasn’t working anymore — I was spinning. I was the kind of tired that no nap can fix. That was my normal.
Then life decided to make me stop.
The Breaking Point
It wasn’t just burnout that broke me open — it was a hurricane. Hurricane Helene hit our region hard, and we had to evacuate. I remember packing up the essentials, stepping outside, and feeling this eerie stillness in the air. Nature had paused everything.
That week, the storm outside mirrored the one I had been ignoring inside.
When the power went out, when the water stopped flowing, when the internet went silent, something else came online — a whisper inside me asking,
“What if I stopped?”
Not just physically, but deeply.
I had spent years as an investment adviser and software engineer — always chasing, optimizing, producing. My identity was tied to performance. But in that pause, I started to see how empty that chase had become.
The First Real Pause
The first real pause came in a moment of temptation during the evacuation— a friend offered me an exciting trading project, something that would’ve reignited the hustle. My reflex said yes, the people-pleaser in me said yes, but my heart whispered no.
For the first time, I listened to the whisper.
Saying no to that project wasn’t about rejecting opportunity — it was about reclaiming sanity. It was the first sacred pause I ever took.
I didn’t have a name for it then, but it was the beginning of a new rhythm — one built around meditation, reflection, and daily stillness.
Let’s Pause Together
Before I tell you the rest of the story, let’s experience what I’m talking about.
Let’s take a few minutes to pause — not as an escape, but as a return.
I invite you to gently close your eyes if you feel comfortable. Take a deep breath in… and let it go.
Feel the weight of your body on the chair. Feel the floor beneath your feet.
Now, bring to mind something or someone that naturally opens your heart. It could be a loved one, a pet, a memory, or even a sense of divine presence.
As you breathe, imagine sending a gentle wish toward them:
“May you be happy. May you be peaceful. May you be joyful. May you be free from suffering.”
Take a few breaths in that space. Feel how your heart softens, how your breath steadies.
Now, let that same kindness turn inward.
May I be happy. May I be peaceful. May I be joyful. May I be free from suffering.
Just notice the shift.
That’s the power of a pause — it’s not about stopping time; it’s about touching eternity within time.
Take one more breath.
And when you’re ready, open your eyes.
What I Discovered in That Pause
When I first started practicing this — sometimes for just three minutes a day — my life began to reorganize itself.
I realized something profound:
What’s holy to me isn’t the output. It’s the process.
It’s the morning hours when I write, heal, and create. It’s journaling through the old stories that kept me small. It’s the moments when I listen — not to the world, but to that still, quiet voice inside.
That’s where sacredness lives.
And the more I paid attention, the more I noticed something beautiful — peace doesn’t come from controlling life; it comes from being fully present for it. It comes from uncovering habituated, conditioned, non-reflected ways of being, layer by layer.
As I often remind myself, prayer is speaking to God, and meditation is listening. Why not do both? Creation, after all, is a conversation — a two-way flow.
The Antidote to Hustle
Rainn Wilson once asked in his book Soul Boom (affiliate link):
“What is holy to you personally? […] Where does sacredness live? […] What should be sacred to all of humanity?”
That question hit me like truth does — quietly but deeply.
I started asking myself every morning,
“What is one thing that is sacred to me today?”
That one question rewired my life. It turned productivity into purpose. It made me realize that the real wealth I was seeking wasn’t financial — it was peace of mind.
Peace became my portfolio.
When I built my business around that truth, everything changed. I didn’t work less — I worked better. My energy felt sustainable. My creativity deepened. I couldn’t wait to start working each morning; I was serving from overflow.
Let’s Practice the Sacred Pause
Let’s take another few minutes together to feel what it means to make something sacred.
If you’d like, close your eyes again.
Take a few deep breaths.
Now bring to mind your day — everything that’s on your mind, all that’s waiting for you when you leave here.
And now ask yourself, quietly,
What is one thing that is sacred to me today?
Don’t overthink it. Just let the first thing that arises — a person, a value, a moment, a feeling — come forward.
Hold it in your awareness.
Breathe into it.
This is your sacred center. The place from which your best self acts and speaks.
Now, with one more deep breath, commit — even if silently — to honoring this sacred thing in some small way today.
Take your time. And when you’re ready, slowly open your eyes.
What We’ve Lost — and What We Can Reclaim
When we lose touch with what is sacred to us, we lose our peace. And peace, I’ve come to see, is the most precious wealth in the world.
Without it, we cannot serve others or ourselves in our highest way. We just spin — busy, exhausted, half-alive.
But when we pause, when we listen, everything changes. Even burnout becomes a teacher. Even emotional upheaval turns into a source of enlightenment. Even a hurricane becomes holy.
Because in the sunlight of awareness, as Thich Nhat Hanh said, everything becomes sacred.
A New Kind of Wealth
So here’s the paradox: When we stop chasing success and start cultivating stillness, success begins to find us — not as an achievement, but as alignment.
I have been building my business around that truth. I’ve been building my peace around that truth. Now I get to share it with you.
And the invitation I’ll leave you with is simple:
Pause daily. Reflect weekly. Retreat deeply.
And each time you do, ask yourself — What’s sacred to me today?
You’ll find that question alone is enough to change everything.
Closing Invitation
If this message resonated with you, I’d love for you to stay connected.
We’re building an online community called Shift Your Identity — a space for people who want to live, work, and create from peace, not pressure; who want to build a conscious life, not one shaped by adopted expectations.
You can join us online, continue exploring these and other practices, and share your reflections.
But most importantly — take this pause into your life. Protect it. Nurture it.
Because peace isn’t a luxury. It’s our birthright.
And the pause is how we come home to it.
With love and alignment,
Cristof Ensslin
My Cure for Entrepreneurial Anxiety Came From an Unlikely Source: Rainn Wilson
I was drowning in doubt over my business metrics. A brutally honest sentence from "Soul Boom" led me to a 3-minute practice that changed everything.
Photo by Keegan Houser on Unsplash
Disclosure: This article links book titles to their Amazon.com listings using affiliate links. If you choose to click them and make a purchase, we may earn a small commission.
The knot in my stomach was back.
I’d just closed the tabs—our Medium stats, our affiliate dashboard—and the familiar script started playing in my head: “See? The numbers don’t lie. Maybe you and Sophia don’t have anything meaningful to contribute after all.”
I felt it physically. The weight on my shoulders, the tightness in my jaw. The material results of our fledgling company, Simple and Aligned, were all I could see, and they were shouting that we were failing.
I felt really, well, frigging unhappy.
And in that moment, a line from a book I was reading echoed in my mind like it was written just for this exact feeling. It was from page 76 of Rainn Wilson’s Soul Boom: Why We Need a Spiritual Revolution:
“I needed to seek spirituality because I was really frigging unhappy.”
It was so blunt. So undeniably honest. It wasn't a complex theory; it was a survival instinct. My own search for spirituality started from a similar place.
My whole life, I’ve been fascinated by the non-material. I grew up in relative material abundance; whenever I had a wish that wasn't too outrageous, I could usually put it on my list for my birthday or Christmas and get it. I remember wishing for an electric guitar, and boom, a month or two later, I had it. I wished for an amp to go with it, and boom, I got that too.
It felt nice to have them, to play around with them. But I already had so many "toys." I had a computer, golf equipment, two bicycles, a closet full of clothes, an acoustic guitar, a cello, and shelves overflowing with books and games. The truth was, I had accumulated so many more things than I had time to actually use them. And in that realization, they became completely meaningless. The joy of acquisition was fleeting, replaced by the quiet burden of possession.
By 15, that feeling had crystallized into a genuine curiosity. If a new guitar or gadget couldn't provide a lasting answer, what could? It was this search that led me to a conversation I’ll never forget. I happened to run into my religious education teacher while walking across town. We fell into step together, and I found myself asking him the biggest question of all: “What is the meaning of life?”
He didn't offer a textbook answer or a complex philosophical theory. He just stopped, looked at me with genuine sincerity, and said, “That is a very good question.” Then he added, “It’s one I also don’t have an answer for.” His humble admission was surprisingly powerful. It didn't shut down my question; it validated it. It signaled that this was a real quest, not something with a simple answer in the back of a book.
The answer began years later, thanks to my wife, Sophia, who introduced me to meditation, and a book I got from my dad, The Diamond Cutter by Geshe Michael Roach, which showed me how ancient wisdom applies to modern problems. I learned that the answer wasn't in the next viral post or product launch; it was inside me. Rainn Wilson defines spirituality as that which is “not of material… not tangible.” It’s the meaning, the purpose, the connection—the stuff that truly matters, but you can’t put a price tag on.
My moment of despair over our stats was the latest alarm bell, signaling that I’d forgotten that. I’d become attached to the material outcome and disconnected from the non-material why.
Rainn’s quote was the spark that brought me back to that teenage feeling. It was the permission slip to admit the material world wasn't enough. But the solution? That didn’t come from his book. His blunt honesty inspired me to reflect and consciously excavate a practice from my own toolkit, built from years of meditation and introspection with Sophia.
It wasn't created in the moment of despair, but in a quiet moment of reflection afterwards, specifically because his words resonated so deeply. I asked myself: "What is my actual, practical response to being 'really frigging unhappy'?" This is what I developed:
The 3-Step “Body & Breath” Reset
Play Sentinel. Your first job isn’t to fight the feeling, but to notice it. Mentally acknowledge it: “Ah, there you are, doubt. And you, unhappiness.” Stop seeing these thoughts as “you” and instead see them as visitors. Just naming them—“I see you”—creates a tiny sliver of space between you and the panic. You are the watcher, not the storm.
Breathe and Locate. Take one slow, deep breath. As you breathe out, scan your body. “Where does this doubt live?” For me, it’s a definite tightness in my jaw and a heavy pressure on my shoulders. Don’t try to make it go away. Just shine a light on it. Okay, it’s right here. This moves the problem from the abstract mind into the tangible body, where it’s easier to work with.
Smile and Send Love. This part feels a little weird until you do it. Put a gentle, soft smile on your face—not because you’re happy, but as an act of kindness toward yourself. Then, direct that feeling of compassion inward, right toward the area of tension. Mentally whisper, “Thank you for trying to protect me. I see you. It’s okay. You can relax now.”
Radiate acceptance instead of resistance. The tension may not vanish instantly, but its power over you will. It dissolves from a screaming alarm into a quiet whisper you can calmly listen to.
(For extra credit, ask that tension, “What are you here to teach me?” and journal the answer. It might be about a deeper fear of being irrelevant—a much richer insight than just “the stats are low.”)
That three-minute practice completely shifted my energy. I stopped frantically thinking about what was wrong with our strategy and remembered what was right with our purpose: to be of service. The doubt was a passenger, not the driver.
The material results of our work will always ebb and flow. But my ability to return to a place of joy and purpose in the process? That’s a spiritual skill no algorithm can touch.
And it all started with a sentence in a book from an unlikely spiritual guide, giving me the courage to admit I was unhappy, and the inspiration to find my own way out.
If Rainn Wilson’s blunt honesty speaks to you like it did to me, and inspires you to find your own tools, you can find his book, Soul Boom: Why We Need a Spiritual Revolution, here.
If this personal journey and practice resonated with you, and you want more insights for aligning your mind and your work, join our Simple and Aligned Newsletter. We share the tools and discoveries that don't show up anywhere else.
What’s a quote that recently inspired you to create a change? Share it in the comments below—I’d love to hear what’s sparking your own solutions.
How a 400-Year-Old Poet Taught Me to Quit My Grind and Trust My Breath
And why your most valuable offering has nothing to do with your output.
Photo by Todd Quackenbush on Unsplash
I was reading Rainn Wilson’s Soul Boom the other day, searching for some spiritual ammunition against the constant low-grade anxiety of being a solopreneur.
You know the feeling. That pressure to perform, to monetize, to prove your worth in a world that measures it in likes and revenue.
Then, on page 117, I found a quiet bombshell. Wilson was writing about Matsuo Basho, the legendary 17th-century Japanese poet.
He described Basho’s process: he walked dozens of miles a day on a poetic pilgrimage. He didn’t force it. He just noticed. The specific way the light hit a leaf. The sound of the breeze in the cottonwood trees. The change of the seasons.
His day would end at a sacred spot—a temple, a bridge, a harbor. And then, from that place of quiet observation, he would compose a single poem. He’d leave it behind as an offering. A gift. No fanfare. No affiliate link. No worrying if it was “valuable” enough.
He lived by a simple idea:
“To live poetry is better than to write it.”
When I read that, I put the book down. My heart ached with longing, and tension arose. It was the tension between the life I felt called to live and the life I felt forced to live to pay the bills.
My “pilgrimage” looked like this: Staring at a blank screen, my mind screaming, “What can you create that people will buy?” Trying to please an algorithm instead of a soul. Agonizing over every word, every offer, every post, terrified it wouldn’t be “smart” enough or valuable enough to justify my chosen path.
The fear behind it all? The deep, cringing embarrassment of failing in front of my family and friends. The terrifying thought: What if I run out of savings? What if I’ve just wasted my life?
Basho’s life was the absolute opposite of that fear. He wasn’t concerned with proving his worth. He knew his worth was inherent in the journey itself. As he said, “the journey itself is my home.”
His value wasn’t in the poem he produced at the end of the day. It was in the act of walking, seeing, and breathing. The poem was simply the natural exhale after a day of deep inhalation.
And that’s when it hit me. We’ve been looking at value all wrong.
We think we have to become valuable through our output. We have to prove our worth through our productivity and our bank accounts. We’re like squirrels, but with a pathological twist—we’re not just saving for winter; we’re hoarding for a retirement 40 years away, all while forgetting to live in the present season of our lives.
But look at nature. The tree outside my office window doesn’t ask, “What is the ROI on my oxygen?” My cat doesn’t fret about her career path. They simply are. And by being, they provide immense, life-sustaining value.
Our existence is our first and greatest offering.
Just by breathing, we are in a sacred exchange with the world. We inhale oxygen (O2) given to us by the plants. We exhale carbon dioxide (CO2) that they need to survive. Our mere presence is a vital gift. We are inherently worthy, simply because we are here.
So if our fundamental state of being is already valuable, what does that mean for our doing?
It means our work, our creations, our businesses should not be frantic attempts to become worthy. They should be natural extensions of our already-worthy selves. They should be the poem we leave behind after a day of paying attention.
The goal shifts from “How can I make money?” to “What wants to flow through me?” From “What will people buy?” to “What is my unique offering?”
This isn’t a naive rejection of money. It’s a strategic embrace of authenticity. When you create from that aligned, unforced place, you stand out. Your work carries a resonance that manufactured content never will. Paradoxically, letting go of the need for it to generate income is often the very thing that allows it to do so, because people are drawn to genuine value, not desperate grabs for attention.
So, how do we start? We take a “Basho Step.”
We don’t need to quit our jobs and wander Japan (though the dream is nice!). We can start right now, in the middle of our messy, modern lives.
Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to do one of these tomorrow:
The Noticing Walk: Go for a five-minute walk. Your only job is to notice one specific, beautiful detail. The way moss grows on a stone. The pattern of cracks on the sidewalk. Text that observation to a friend. No context needed. That’s your offering.
The Identity Draft: Take a piece of paper and write: “The kind of person I want to be is…” Don’t attach to it being true now. Just let it flow. This is an offering to your future self.
The Intuitive Nudge: Sit in stillness for three minutes. Ask, “What small, kind act wants to flow through me today?” Then do it. Send the message of forgiveness. Make the call. That is your offering.
The goal isn’t to create a masterpiece. The goal is to practice the posture of offering. To prove to yourself that your value isn’t out there, waiting to be earned.
It’s right here, in your breath. In your attention. In your willingness to walk your own path and leave your unique poem behind.
What wants to flow through you today?
If this reflection resonated with you, the wisdom that started it all can be found in Rainn Wilson’s wonderful book, Soul Boom: Why We Need a Spiritual Revolution*. (*Amazon.com affiliate link: If you choose to click it and make a purchase, we may earn a small commission.)
If you're tired of the grind and want to build a life and business that feels as simple and aligned as Basho's walk, join us on a deeper journey. Sophia and I share exclusive insights, practical exercises, and personal stories in our Simple and Aligned Newsletter. It’s where we explore how to quiet the noise, trust your intuition, and let your work flow from your truest self.
Join the Simple and Aligned Newsletter Here
— Cristof (and Sophia) from Simple and Aligned
How Stoplights Became My Spiritual Teachers (And What They’re Trying to Tell You)
I used to rage at red lights — until I discovered they were sacred mirrors. Here’s how to decode their messages and unlock your next evolution.
Photo by Oleksandr Danylchenko on Unsplash
I was late. Again. My fingers drummed the steering wheel as the red light mocked me.
“Hurry up. Change. Why does this always happen to ME?”
My chest tightened — until a whisper cut through my frustration:
“You’re not stuck. You’re being schooled.”
In that moment, I understood: Stoplights aren’t delays. They’re spiritual pop quizzes.
Every red light, every traffic jam, every “why is this taking so long?!” moment is a mirror held up by the universe. It asks:
Will you resist or receive?
Will you curse the pause or let it polish you?
Universal Truth:
“The universe doesn’t delay you — it prepares you.”
The Three Sacred Layers of Every Red Light
Layer 1: The Mirror
Your impatience isn’t about the light. It’s about where you’re resisting life itself.
🔍 Your Assignment next time impatience flares:
Name the sensation (“My jaw is clenched”).
Ask the mirror: “What ancient script am I replaying?” (Hint: It’s usually fear of being “behind”).
Layer 2: The Alchemy
Red lights force you into the one thing your soul craves: a moment of presence.
🌿 Try This:
Breathe in: “I accept this pause.”
Exhale: “I trust what’s unfolding.”
Notice: One beautiful detail (sunlight on asphalt, a child’s laugh from a nearby car).
Layer 3: The Upgrade
Every time you choose ease over urgency, you rewire your nervous system for divine timing.
✨ Soul Truth: “Delays are portals. Your calm is the key.”
The Sacred Mirror Worksheet: Your Personal Decoder
When I started tracking my reactions to “delays,” patterns emerged:
Monday’s traffic jam mirrored my dread of a meeting.
Thursday’s slow grocery line reflected my fear of “wasting time.”
That’s why I created the Self-Referential Reflection Worksheet — not as a to-do list, but as a sacred mirror to:
✔ Spot your soul’s recurring lessons (e.g., “Why does ‘waiting’ trigger me?”)
✔ Decode resistance into wisdom (Hint: Your triggers are portals)
✔ Witness your growth (Compare Week 1 to Week 4 — you’ll be shocked)
“The worksheet isn’t homework. It’s a love letter from your higher self.”
When You “Fail” (Which You Will)
Some days, you’ll still curse at stoplights. Good.
Here’s the magic:
Your frustration isn’t failure — it’s fuel. The moment you notice you’re impatient, you’ve already begun the shift.
“Falling back” is part of the path. Each “relapse” reveals a deeper layer to heal.
💡 Try This:
After a “failed” moment, ask:
“What if this frustration is the exact doorway I need?”
Beyond the Road: Alchemizing Life’s “Delays”
Stoplights are training wheels. Soon, you’ll start seeing all pauses as sacred:
A delayed flight? “What’s the gift in this extra hour?”
A slow-moving line? “What if this is protecting me from something?”
Shareable Truth:
“Tag someone who needs to hear: Your ‘red light’ is a love note from the universe.”
The Self-Referential Reflection Worksheet is your companion to:
✔ Catch soul lessons in real-time
✔ Transform triggers into treasure
✔ Proof of your evolution (Compare Week 1 to Week 4 — you’ll feel the shift)
Remember: Every “delay” is a whisper: “You’re not late. You may be behind schedule, but you’re exactly on time.”
Becoming Self-Referential: The Simple Practice That Can Change Everything
You have all the
answers within
Photo Credit: Madison Lavern
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to look outside yourself for answers?
Whether you’re facing a difficult decision or trying to plan your next step in life or business, it’s common to reach for a book, ask a friend, or scroll social media for inspiration.
But what if your best guide was already within you?
The Shift Toward Being Self-Referential
Being self-referential doesn’t mean shutting out the world. It means making yourself the first source you consult. It means asking: What do I think? What do I know? What do I feel? — before seeking input elsewhere.
This is a powerful practice that can anchor you in your own clarity, increase your confidence, and help you live in deeper alignment with your values and intuition.
Simple Prompts for Self-Reflection
Start here:
Where do I need to be more self-referential?
What change can I anticipate in my life when I choose to be more self-referential?
Take just a couple of minutes to reflect. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Jot down a few bullet points, a list, a drawing, or full sentences — whatever helps you connect inward.
Then go deeper:
What is stopping me from relying on myself?
What blocks me from trusting my own talents, ingenuity, and inner guidance?
Where do I still wait for outside approval before moving forward?
These aren’t just journal prompts. They’re doorways.
What You Might Find
When you give yourself permission to explore these questions, you might uncover a gold mine of insights:
A new idea for your next creative project
A surprising solution to a problem
A shift in your posture toward life — one that feels freer, braver, more aligned
Living From Your True North
The beauty of becoming more self-referential is that it puts you on a path of inner authority. You begin living from your true north — the place inside you that already knows what a meaningful, purposeful life looks like.
And from that place, simplicity emerges.
You’re no longer chasing outside validation. You’re guided by your own inner compass. This shift can lead to greater emotional, spiritual, and even financial fulfillment.
Try It Today
To help you begin, I’ve created a free downloadable worksheet with the reflection prompts above. It’s designed to guide you through a short but powerful introspection session — perfect for your morning routine or an evening wind-down.
Download the Self-Referential Reflection Worksheet
You don’t need to be an expert to trust yourself. You just need to begin.
And that beginning? It starts within.
Letting go of paper clutter
I decided to let go of all paper clutter today. I am so happy and so light.
It is funny how paper starts collecting in my folders and on my desk. It starts then to take up both physical and mental space.
If you are struggling with lack of clarity or sluggishness, try decluttering stacks of paper and see how it feels.
If you find it hard to let go, just collect it all and put it out of sight for one week. if you didn't miss it, then you know it is time to let it go. Try it. You will gain so much flow, space and light at the end of this process of letting go.
#decluttering #clarity #simplicity
Forget the Noise - Inspired by Sara Blakely
“Business should not be war.” - Sara Blakely
But some do think that. They want to “beat “the competition. Or “kill it” in business. Or “overcome” the competitors.
All of this war mongering in business is far from what an impactful, inspiring business can be.
Look at one of my all time women entrepreneur inspirations: Sara Blakely.
She focused not on the competition. She focused on solving a real problem women were facing.
She focused not on challenging the status quo. She focused on challenging herself and her business to offer the best value.
It’s with a mindset of value that she and her team built a billion dollar business in a category of one.
Click to see her post on LinkedIn
The outward focus on comparing what others are doing or trying to be better than the other guy is counter productive.
What Sara Blakely inspires us to do is to be better than your past self. Put efforts in turbocharging your best efforts.
I am inspired by her example; not only the successful business she created but also the impactful work she is doing in empowering women.
Plus, she is a conscious creator who listened to Wayne Dyer tapes at 17 to lift herself out of a difficult stage in her life.
Today, I want to encourage you to follow your truth. Be inwardly focused so you can output from your authentic self.
Forget the noise.
Give your dreams and goals primetime in your mental bandwidth.
Your creativity and your business can be a channel for peace, love and personal growth.
Inevitably, this will have a positive impact on the people around you, the environment you are in and the world at large through an unseen domino effect.
Make peace. Let your inner-self speak through your words and your business.
Let me know what you think in the comments of this LinkedIn Post.
What is behind this need to empty?
An enquiry into my soul's wantings
Back in 2011, I had this phase when I started feeling this powerful urge to let go of things and items that belong to me. Personal letters, cards, essays and papers written for school and college and also reducing my vast collection of books. One day, I let go of piles and piles of creative writing assignments from my university studies, with no desire to scan and digitize them. I began with this stack of papers and lay them before me. I wanted to simply “reduce”. At first, I realised that this is a lot of painstaking work that I am simply discarding. To ease the process, I began separating those items that I felt some emotional connection to and made a little collection of them to keep. Very soon, the huge pile of papers was suddenly down to a handful of articles. And the big brown paper bag filled with my essays that I had sorted out for recycling, seemed like a big relief.
Then I went through some of my diaries and other self-awareness notes just from the previous two years. I began letting go of them as well. With some more things left to go through still, I decided to call it a day and went to bed. As I lay in bed, I wondered why I was going through this process of letting go of my belongings?
Photo by Callum Shaw on Unsplash
I realized that in the previous few years, I have intensified the process of recognizing my ego and bit by bit untangling myself from its grip, and making friends with it to serve my higher purpose. The next morning as I woke up, I had an epiphany. I realized that this letting go of my belongings was another way of disentangling myself from things that have become a form of attachment for my ego and a source of identity for myself. So it seems that intuitively, I embarked on this process with the desire to find out: what lies behind all this stuff that I call mine? I wanted to know:
What will I find when I take away all of these things that I own? What remains behind all of this stuff? Who am I without all of these things?
I feel going through this process physically, enabled me to feel a powerful impact. I don’t think I am done with this process yet and still simplifying my belongings. Here are some of things I experienced as a result of decluttering my personal writings and items.
As I let go of things:
I feel light.
I feel unburdened with the care and organization of stuff that I do not actively need, use or connect with on a daily basis.
I feel free.
I feel greater appreciation and even love for those things I do decide to keep.
I feel more spacious.
I practice being grateful and thanking my belongings for the service they have offered and letting them go.
The flow of energy out, feels good and uplifting. I am making space for all that is wanting to emerge through me and to me.
I make room for the flow of gifts of life and the universe.
I have more time to do things that fulfill me.
I feel more mobile, light and limber.
Moreover, I felt a general sense of peace and joy filling my being. And I am not yet done. I am eager to go through some more of my things, and some more and some more, until I feel a sense of equilibrium and peace about the whole thing.
And this has the potential to open up the door for me to come to the realization of the question: What remains behind all the things I own? Who am I?
Emptiness and Simplicity are the catalysts for inner-peace within me.
The seed of this article was written on November 5th, 2011.
Could it be that you don’t want passive income?
It’s rather this you are looking for.
I remember having a conversation with a friend of mine a while back. Both of us were self-employed and could relate to each other’s entrepreneurial journeys.
We wanted to make it happen with our businesses.
But we were struggling.
If you are a solopreneur or have a side hustle, you may be well aware of the struggles. From figuring out what skills the market will pay for, how much to charge for our services, and where to find the next client to how to balance work with rest, not feeling guilty for taking a vacation, how to deal with imposter syndrome and self-doubt, the challenges that we overcome are immense.
That’s why I consider running one’s own business a surefire path to personal and spiritual transformation.
But I digress.
So it was one of those days when my friend and I were lamenting about the up and down cycle of our business (a little bit of venting only, to let off steam). And that’s when she said, “Wouldn’t it be cool to make passive income? To earn income while we sleep or while we are on vacation? I would love passive income so much and not have to worry about all of this right now!!”
On the one hand, she was expressing her true desire for “easy money”. You know, work a little and get paid a lot.
But what she was truly saying was much deeper.
She is a hard worker and does not shy away from taking action. So it’s not like she doesn’t want to do the work. For her the term, “passive income” was a nice symbol of ease and abundance at that moment.
What she was feeling was the frustration of the grind that a self-employed or solopreneur business can be. Creating content, solving problems for clients, finding clients, taking care of the house and family, and on and on.
She wanted ease and flow in her life.
She wanted a break.
She just wanted a breakthrough.
Passive Income is Not Passive
Passive income. It seems so many people are wanting passive income or think that’s what they want. And that is what the marketers cater their marketing towards — the desire people have for money coming in, apparently with little or no work.
First of all, those who have generated “passive income” know that there’s nothing passive about it — unless it’s dividend income coming from your portfolio investments. But even that requires proper planning and careful selection for crafting a winning portfolio; thus requiring an immense understanding of the financial markets and even macroeconomics, which means getting educated and staying informed in that world. Hardly anything about that is passive!
Cristof Ensslin, a financial adviser at Pine Ridge Wealth an investment advisory firm, alerts us: “With investing, it takes, at the least studying the market or if you don’t want to do that, then hiring the right financial adviser and staying in touch with them, to stay on top of things. Done right, investing is highly leveraged but not passive.”
And just read the following quotes that debunk the passive income myth.
The bottom line is that passive income may seem like a free lunch, but there is nothing passive about it. — Melissa Houston, Forbes Dec 17, 2023
Anything capable of producing “passive income” is a full-time job — and the moment you stop caring about it, income stops. — Nicholas Cole, in this article Jan 14, 2021
“The courses, videos and social media content don’t create themselves,” he said. “None of this is passive.” — Luca Alboretti who creates free educational resources for real estate professionals, quoted in a New York Times article written by Lisa Rabasca Roep on Jan 27th, 2023.
Passive Income is a Misnomer
Passive income is a misnomer. It paints an inaccurate picture of what it seems we truly want.
What if what we truly desire is way deeper than that? And solopreneurs, freelancers, content creators, and self-employed folks have in their very fiber everything that demonstrates that depth of desire.
We say we want passive income but we are not afraid of doing hard work.
We say we want passive income but we don’t shy away from showing up, even after countless “failures”.
We say we want passive income but we are full of ideas on how to change things and make things better.
We say we want passive income but we are saying yes to requests from others so we can be of help.
We say we want passive income but we can’t stop thinking about our business even while on vacation if we take one in the first place.
I could go on.
What we want, what we really really want
So, it’s not passive income that we may be looking for, it seems.
Could it be that what we really really want is:
the freedom of doing what we love;
2. doing the work when we want it, with whom we want;
3. the satisfaction of having a meaningful impact on people’s lives;
4. the joy of creative expression, of learning, of following our curiosity;
5. the possibility of having no income ceiling;
6. leaving a wealthy financial legacy for our loved ones;
7. and making a difference for the causes close to our hearts?
Or when we say we want passive income, what we simply want is:
an asynchronous way of working where we don’t have to show up at a certain hour we can work whenever we want whether it’s 2 am or 2 pm, in between baby naps; we can go for a lunch break with a friend to take advantage of a sunny afternoon and then be able to work after 9 pm to get the thing done; a truly remote work so we can work from wherever we want; a work environment where goals and objectives are communicated in written or via recorded video; and where meetings and video calls are no longer a must.
On that last point, Sahil Lavingia, the founder of Gumroad has created a no meeting, no deadline, no full-time employees business model and is thriving.
So what is it for me?
Well, what I truly want is the freedom to do the work I love, remotely and asynchronously (no appointments and take breaks when I need or want), be creative and collaborate with those I want to collab with, be my own boss (rapid decision making is a plus), have income/profit ceiling that breaks through the societal gender inequality, have the revenue growth that I desire for my company and wealth for my family while making a difference for our audience and the causes I care about.
And oh, none of it needs to be passive. However, I would love a leveraged business model.
Perhaps, it would be worthwhile to re-evaluate what we mean when we say Passive Income. Is it code for the true desire for work freedom that we want as solopreneurs and content creators? If so, let each one of us decode it for ourselves so that we can create the life we really really want!
Sources:
Houston, Melissa. “There Is Nothing Passive About Passive Income .” Forbes, 17 December 2023, https://www.forbes.com/sites/melissahouston/2023/12/17/there-is-nothing-passive-about-passive-income/?sh=2054bd391a45 Retrieved March 13th, 2024.
Cole, Nicolas. “There Is Nothing Passive About “Passive Income”.” Medium, 14 January 2021, https://nicolascole77.medium.com/there-is-nothing-passive-about-passive-income-79e25032ce30 Retrieved March 13th, 2024.
Roepe, Lisa Rabasca. “What’s Passive Income? It’s Not What Influencers Say It Is.” New York Times, 27 January 2023, https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/27/business/passive-income-job-retirement.html Retrieved March 13th, 2024.
🐬🐬🐬
Content Creation & Overcoming the Pressure For Excellence
Being an expert on a topic is great. And hopefully, you are on the journey to becoming good at whatever it is that you want to do.
But right now, if you don’t consider yourself an expert, let that not stop you from starting. How?
You do that using three specific ways of thinking that I will share in this article.
Blog #140: Overcoming the Pressure For Excellence
Being an expert on a topic is great. And hopefully, you are on the journey to becoming good at whatever it is that you want to do.
But right now, if you don’t consider yourself an expert, let that not stop you from starting. How?
You do that using three specific ways of thinking that I will share in this article.
The Excellence Pressure & The Heavy Mental Cost
There is a real drive for excellence in our culture. Whether it is getting straight A’s, being multi-disciplinary or well-rounded in all subjects, and earning a high income, the emphasis on being really really good is tremendous. It comes from our parents, our friends, from pop culture and media at large. Some of it is also self-created, of course.
Although creating excellence in any field is a worthy aspiration, the pressure when not handled right starts killing our spirits and our creativity and unfortunately, also literally killing us. It can show up in being prone to illness, becoming unhealthy in our food intake, and postponing movement. It shows up in emotional distress and the inability to deal with setbacks we face in life such as heartbreak, job loss, or other types of hardships, and sadly, shows up as countless people of all ages succumb to the pressure that leads to suicide.*
The need to be good, nay, excellent at something even before one has begun is something I have felt every time I write a blog or Medium article. I feel it before I post on Linkedin or begin to create content for YouTube.
These are some thoughts that fly through my mind:
I am not an expert. This exact topic has been written about by people before. And they have written better pieces of work. Plus, they are Stanford or Harvard professors who have written books and taught the subject for decades.
So the conclusion I make is:
Whatever I say or write will be irrelevant, will not be excellent, and cannot be of value as a result. Thus, no one will watch it or read it. I should just give up, curl up in a ball, and go hide under a rock.
Yes, I know. It’s intense!
This is something I have often felt; far too often. I felt it before writing this article.
And I share this because there is a false sense of perfection that we feel the need to present to the outside world. How many times have you put your “game face” on right before a client call on Zoom, having just cried your face off a few minutes before? I have. Plenty of times.
While researching for this article, I came across this article in the New York Times* about the “practice of acting happy and self-assured even when sad or stressed”. The article presents this description of students on college campuses who feel the pressure to put up a positive front even when they are facing hardships:
”In 2003, Duke jolted academe with a report describing how its female students felt pressure to be “effortlessly perfect”: smart, accomplished, fit, beautiful and popular, all without visible effort. At Stanford, it’s called the Duck Syndrome. A duck appears to glide calmly across the water, while beneath the surface it frantically, relentlessly paddles.”
The Duck image says it all.
Translate the above to the pressure of perfection in writing and creating content and you get the point.
To break this chain of thought, I then, have to actively remind myself of a few very healthy, wholesome pieces of advice:
1. “What a terrible conclusion!”
First, “What a terrible conclusion!” This makes me laugh because it’s a line from one of my favorite SNL skits ( see 1.48 seconds into this clip or watch the whole 5 min! The Nuni’s (Natalie Portman) new boyfriend Geoff (Jason Sudeikis) asks whether Gorillas were killed to make the “hair chair” he is sitting on. Then the mom, Nuni (Maya Rudolph) responds, “What a terrible conclusion!” in the most funny way, at least to me. And it makes me laugh each time. My husband and I say this line to each other whenever we have a misunderstanding of some sort and we break into laughter.
This is a scene at our home: One of us says,” The cats look hungry. It seems that no one fed them.” To which one of us replies, ”What a terrible conclusion!” We both break out in laughter.
Okay, I digress.
So I remind myself that because I am not an expert or don’t have degrees or decades committed to the subject, doesn’t make my writing any less valuable. “That’s a terrible conclusion”, I say to myself. By that logic, no one would ever say a word or write a thing until they had already reached excellence. This of course doesn’t mean I don’t work towards excellence. But on the path to it, I can still be making a difference.
2. Make a Contribution to the Conversation
Denise Duffield Thomas of the Lucky Bitch books has a piece of advice that I want to share with you. She says to think about anything you are doing as “making a contribution” to the conversation. She is a money mindset author and coach. When she was starting out, she understood that there were other money experts out there like Suze Orman. But instead of letting that discourage her, she decided to contribute to the conversation of improving our money mindset - sharing her angle, her thoughts, her experiences.
I love that. Because now, with that kind of approach, the pressure is off. You are contributing to the conversation not necessarily having to be the last word on any topic.
3. Be an Enthusiast
Another way to think about it is how Gary Vee puts it: Be an enthusiast.
Create content and in doing so, show your enthusiasm about a topic, you get to learn about yourself and what you are curious about. Share your enthusiasm on the topic and you don’t have to be an expert.
Don’t claim to be an expert. Simply share your enthusiasm!
So whether you remind yourself of “what a terrible conclusion!” you are making when you count yourself out or to contribute to the conversation or be an enthusiast on a topic, remove the pressure on yourself that is stopping you from creating and bringing your gifts to our world.
This is a surefire way to remove the fear of not being perfect in what you are creating. Let there be typos. I have seen typos in best-selling New York Times books that had a team of editors and years of production time. Allow yourself to be human! This advice is for me as much as for anyone reading this article.
All of this will help you to create, innovate, and move forward. It will remove the hurdle of waiting until you are great at something.
Start now.
Do this now.
And the fruit of this process might just be you demonstrating excellence.
Share your experience with this in the comments. I would love to know what goes on your mind when it comes to creating.
PS: For more tips and invites to trainings on how to grow your freelance online business, join the Abundant Creative Newsletter here.
Sources:
Robinson Ph.D., Bryan. “Grappling With The Rise Of Work-Related Suicide During The Pandemic: How To Support Yourself And Fellow Coworkers.” Forbes, 5 Sept. 2020, https://www.forbes.com/sites/bryanrobinson/2020/09/05/grappling-with-the-rise-of-work-related-suicide-during-the-pandemic-how-to-support-yourself-and-fellow-coworkers/?sh=6aa65bf548d2 Retrieved on Feb 6th, 2024
Scelfo, Julie. “Suicide on Campus and the Pressure of Perfection.” The New York Times, 2 Aug. 2015, https://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/02/education/edlife/stress-social-media-and-suicide-on-campus.html Retrieved Feb 6th, 2024
SNL. “The Art Dealers: Their Daughter’s New Boyfriend” YouTube, 1 Feb 2018, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVqagvk7dLw
GaryVee. “A Rant That Will Destroy Your Imposter Syndrome On Social Media” YouTube, 9 Aug 2022, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpVX4jJNu4k
24 Tools I Use To Run My Freelance Web Design Business
As a freelance web designer, I use the following 24 tools to run my design business and deliver my design packages. I’m breaking them into six categories so it’s easier to follow.
Blog #139: 24 Tools I Use To Run My Freelance Web Design Business
Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash
Recently, I reviewed all the tools that I use in my freelance web design business. I like to take an inventory from time to time to see where I can invest in tools that will help me simplify and streamline my business, and remove those that don’t serve me anymore.
In 2024, it turns out I currently use 24 tools to run my business and deliver my design packages. In today's article, I am breaking them into six categories so it’s easier to follow: client acquisition and communication, payments, design, organization and project management, legal, finances, taxes, admin, content production, and social media.
I. Client Acquisition and Communication
1. Zoom: Zoom for consult calls, and client communication during projects as well as webinars and paid workshops.
2. 9Designs/Squarespace Marketplace: This is my main source of client projects. Many new designers hesitate to go on a freelancer platform because of the fees they charge. But if you are not booked out or making the revenue goal you want, getting a profile set up on a platform like Upwork or others and diligently applying to jobs will make a huge difference. Remember it won’t be forever, just to get your foot into the door.
3. Squarespace (Hosting, Domain, Client intake, online presence): This is where I host my website, purchased my domain, and have an online presence. As a Squarespace web designer, this makes sense.
4. ConvertKit: This is my email marketing platform. Mailerlite is my second favorite as it is cheaper and delivers the key features that Convertkit delivers. But the user interface and ease of use of ConvertKit keep me there for now.
5. Google Workspace (for email): This is where I get my business email from.
6. Google Drive (for client content): I use Google Drive to receive all client content including text, images, logos, and links. They also fill out two questionnaires which are hosted on my website.
7. Keynote: I love using Keynote, mostly for presentation slides for my webinars or YouTube videos. I have also used Google Slides, which I may switch to in the future.
8. Pages: I love Pages for creating PDFs - such as my welcome package, finished website PDF, and my Bio/Testimonials PDF that I send to any new client inquiring about a project.
9. WeTransfer: If I am not sending a recording link of my website launch training on Zoom, I may send the entire video recording via WeTransfer.
10. Acuity Scheduling: This is the app that I got legacy pricing on as I was using it when Squarespace first acquired it. So I have all my consult calls on there. Calendly, and Whereby are my other alternatives.
11. Loom (for client communication): During my two-week design project workflow, I will often use Loom for presenting my design draft or asking a question to a client. This allows for more asynchronous communication and avoids lengthy meetings on Zoom.
12. Honeybook: This tool can be it’s own productivity app. But I primarily use it for sending a single email that has both the payment link and the contract in one. This has saved countless hours of back and forth and got me booked faster.
II. Payments
13. Stripe: Stripe is the tool I use for receiving payments for clients who book me directly via my website or if I have digital products or live paid workshops.
14. Paypal: Paypal is the payment processor that I use to get paid for my projects via 99Design. Squarespace integrates with both Stripe and Paypal, so if you create a product or service there, you can offer both options to your clients.
III. Design
15. Canva: Mostly for creating video clips, documents, and some graphics.
16. Picmonkey: I use Picmonkey for image alterations, enhancement and YouTube thumbnails
IV. Organization and Project Management
17. Notion: This is now my entire business operations. I have my goals, workflows, content creation, everything in Notion.
18. Milanote: Milanote is where my headquarters used to be. I have moved most of my things from Mila to Notion but still have some archives there which I would like to eventually move to Notion and have a single online headquarters.
(See also point 6). Google Drive: (Google Docs and folders for client content) Google Drive is mostly for clients to send me their content inside Google Docs and folders.
V. Legal, Finances, Taxes, Admin
19. Turbo Tax: I use Turbo Tax to pay my taxes.
(See also point 6) Google Drive (Finance Spreadsheet): This is where I track my income and expenses. I find it very encouraging to track income and potential income in here.
VI. Content Production and Social Media
20. QuickTime: Quicktime is what I use for recording my screen and also my face for YouTube tutorials.
21. iMovie: This is my editing software. I am keeping things simple with video editing. I may explore other options like Final Cut Pro or hire a video editor when things progress in my content creation branch of my business or for course creation.
22. YouTube: All my long-form videos are published on YouTube. This is part of my leveraged business model.
23. LinkedIn: Also part of my leveraged business model, LinkedIn is where I post short-form content and link it to my website.
24. Medium: Also part of my leveraged business model, Medium is where I post my long-form content and link it to my website.
These are all the paid and free tools I use in my one-to-one web design business. I have also used Upwork in the past for client acquisition and Teachable/Crowdcast for course hosting and webinars but I don’t use these anymore. I may have a section for courses and digital products here later when I grow that part of my business.
There you have it: six categories and 24 tools to grow and build my solopreneur online web design business. Post below in the comments any apps that are critical to your business or alternatives you think I should consider to those I am currently using.
PS: For more tips and invites to trainings on how to grow your freelance online business, join the Abundant Creative Newsletter here.
Cop-out or Commitment to 10X
What feels like a commitment to you, may look like a cop-out to others.
That’s what happened recently when I called off a new project even before it began.
10x is easier than 2x.
Blog #138: Cop-out or Commitment to 10X
Photo by Rohan Reddy on Unsplash
What feels like a commitment to you, may look like a cop-out to others.
That’s what happened recently when I called off a new project even before it began.
The project was a new YouTube interview series where I would chat with web designers, freelancers, and content creators. The aim: to help freelancers build and grow their solopreneur business online.
It was exciting. Four people booked to be guests. But as it got closer to getting things organized, I felt this increasing unease. After a day of feeling a knot in my stomach, I called it off.
From the outside, this looks like a cop-out. I seem unreliable and flip-floppy in my decisions. But on the inside, this took courage. Courage not only to write that message to my guests but courage to stay committed to my Unique Ability.
I was committing to my Unique Ability.
What is “Unique Ability”?
At the start of this year, I learned deeply about this idea in the book, 10X is Easier than 2x by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy. They write that your Unique Ability is “where you have superior skills, where you’re intrinsically motivated and are energized and engaged, and it’s where you see a never-ending possibility for improvement.” It’s about becoming familiar and really clear about what you like and dislike and that your judgments about your experience are completely valid. It’s becoming open to your preferences and not letting other people’s opinions about what you do affect you.
”Unique Ability is qualitative and individual, it’s extremely unique value that only you can create…It’s a combination of a degree of skill as well as an extreme degree of uniqueness.” - Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy
It’s akin to what I have heard Oprah Winfrey in her talks and speeches mention repeatedly when she said, “I want to fulfill the highest, truest expression of myself as a human being.”
But as the authors write in the book, committing to one’s Unique Ability is the “hardest and most intense thing you will ever do.” It’s about taking inventory of where you are investing your time and what activities are taking up your mental bandwidth.
That takes courage. Saying no to invitations is hard. Choosing to work a 4-day week is not easy. Filling up your calendar with the most important items will lead to very little time remaining for anything else. And canceling projects you asked your guests to join, not just once, but twice, does feel awkward.
“I want to fulfill the highest, truest expression of myself as a human being.”
Facing One’s Ego
Sometimes you’ve got to face your past decisions. The first time I canceled the YouTube interview series was because I had already a very full schedule and I was trying to squeeze-in one more thing into my calendar. I could see that I was moving toward burnout very fast this way. So I dropped the project.
The second time I canceled the project was out of a renewed sense of self-awareness.
"As you develop your Unique Ability...You'll stop forcing yourself to do anything you don't want to do. You'll accept and live by what psychologists call pull motivation, rather than push motivation. When you're pulled by what you want and what excites you, that's freedom and intrinsic motivation. You'll no longer operate based on need, but want." - Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy
After taking time to reflect on my goals, I realized that starting the interview series was based on a need, not a true desire or want. I was giving in to this idea that creating a YouTube interview series is something I "should" do because I heard or read somewhere that this is a great way to build an audience and grow my business. Although I was excited about meeting the guests and asking them questions, the whole logistics of conducting the series, editing, and putting it all together was something that had begun to drain me. Sure, I can outsource all of that but the project as a whole was making me feel out of my element. I started to get this feeling that I should dye my hair, buy new makeup, and change who I essentially am so I can be “good enough” to host the show!
Changing myself to be “good enough”! Phew! These are all signs that I was embarking on this project because of some idea that was not inherently mine. It was not an authentic desire driving me forward. It came from a feeling that I “should do” this. And that is not healthy or wholesome.
Questions You Can Ask Yourself When Making Decisions
If you are faced with a decision and don’t quite know which path to take, ask yourself these questions. Then assess if a project or a decision is something you want to embark on and if it’s helping you towards your 10x goals.
Is this in alignment with my Unique Ability?
Is this something that is fun, enjoyable, or inspiring?
Will this project help me explore the edge of my 20%?
Letting Go is Part of Embracing The 20%
One of the ideas in the book is about letting go of the 80% to focus on the 20%. This 20% is the edge where you take what you are really good at and get even better. It’s connected to going 10x which is an ongoing process of increasing the quality and decreasing the quantity of what you do. The 20% of everything you do is where the magic lies, allowing you to focus on the 10x goals, and that requires you to focus on fewer things than many.
Letting go more and more of the 80% that takes up your time is essential if you want to go 10x. This doesn’t necessarily mean eliminating it altogether, of course; it can mean delegating to a new hire or automating the tasks. But it is also about letting go of that which is not serving your 10x goals.
Committing to Your Unique Ability
As I read the chapter on Unique Ability in the book, I realized that if I am not enjoying the things I am doing in my business, then I shouldn’t be doing them. Either eliminate or delegate. As soon as I made the decision to call off the interview series, a knot in my stomach seemingly released. I felt at ease. I felt free.
Diving deeper into what inspires me, I realize that what I truly want to do is write and share ideas, insights, and strategies that can help online entrepreneurs and freelancers succeed. It’s not making YouTube interview videos unless I can tap into it from a true desire that brings joy and excitement and I am open to that happening at a later time.
Letting go of something you’ve started is okay. Even if it seems to others as wishy-washy behavior. You are allowed to re-commit to your most important priorities, to your 10x goals, to your Unique Ability. What others think of how you commit your time is none of your business!
I am committing to my Unique Ability.
…
I don’t Own A Toaster
I don't own a toaster.
I don't own it because I like my kitchen counter free of appliances. In fact, I like my kitchen counter with nothing on it - wide, empty, and clear like watching the ocean from the shore!
Blog #137: I don’t own a toaster.
I don't own a toaster.
I don't own it because I like my kitchen counter free of appliances. In fact, I like my kitchen counter with nothing on it - wide, empty, and clear like watching the ocean from the shore!
I make my toast in the oven.
When people come to my home and I make them breakfast, I use my oven to make them toast. They comment, "Wow, you don't own even $10 toaster?"
And I smile with peace. I have the $10 to buy a toaster but I choose not to.
These are the kinds of choices my hubby and I make on the regular. They don't fit the norm but they fit our sense of a "rich life" to borrow Ramit Sethi's phrase.
From time to time, I find myself making decisions based on other people's expectations or the unspoken rules of society and I have to remind myself to find my authentic preference. It's not easy. But I practice with small things like the toaster!
What choices could you make in your life that are truly motivated by your personal preference, point of view, and values out of inner alignment? What ideas, practices, and values can you let go of that don't bring forth your truest, most authentic self?
I'll leave you with this quote which has inspired me today:
“Wealth has little to do with how much you earn and a lot to do with how you live. One of the simplest ways to grow wealthier is pushing to detach yourself from peer pressure and care less about what people think of how you live.”
…
PS: If you are on LinkedIn, I invite you to connect with me there for more conversations and connections. If you want more tips and invites to trainings on how to grow your freelance online business, join the Abundant Creative Newsletter here.
Don’t move the goal post. The art of being content.
Don’t move the goal post. … in order for you to be content.
Being content is an art. We weren’t all born with it.
But we can all cultivate this art of contentment.
Photo by Mariana Medvedeva on Unsplash
Blog #135: Don’t move the goal post. The art of being content.
Don’t move the goalpost. … for you to be content.
Being content is an art. We weren’t all born with it.
But we can all cultivate this art of contentment.
Recently, I was watching a YouTube video in which Gary Vee is being asked questions by the event participants. One by one they ask their questions until a boy steps up to the mic and asks, “What do I do if I don’t know what I want to do in life?” Gary asked him how old he is and he replied “I am 14 years old”.
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” Who has not been asked this as a child! Every time this question is asked, a child is zapped out of the present moment and transported into a future that doesn’t exist.
It makes them realize there is something else than being a child at this moment, something to work towards, something other than “now”.
Do you remember that moment for you?
I remember. I was maybe 10 or 11 and visiting my grandmother’s place. A neighbor was passing by and started to have small talk with me. And then she asked me the question, “So, Sophia, what do you want to do when you grow up?” I had not thought about this question before but I felt the pressure to give a “smart” answer. I blurted out, “Hmm, I want to be an environmental engineer.”
This story took place in the 1980s in Mumbai where, like elsewhere in the world, there’s a huge pressure for kids to do good in school and “make their parents proud”. So I said the smartest sounding thing I could think of, not even knowing what an environmental engineer does. She said, “Good, good. I knew you would want to become an engineer or a doctor.”
I never wanted to be an engineer or a doctor. And I had no intentions of becoming either even though I didn’t know what I wanted to major in college. Even when I had a major selected, I was not sure if that was the thing I wanted to do. All the way right into my early 40s I have from time to time asked myself, “Is this what I am meant to do with my life?” And each time I was not satisfied with my current output or contribution to the world.
There were days when people just did the job that their fathers did. A shopkeeper’s son would become a shopkeeper. A school teacher’s daughter would become a school teacher or a professor. And so on.
But in today’s times, changing your career path once or even multiple times is not that unusual. In fact, according to a statistic by the US Department of Labor, the average American changes careers 5-7 times during their working life. (Source: https://novoresume.com/career-blog/career-change-statistics).
I can attest to that statistic in my own path. My first job when I was a high schooler was restocking bookshelves at the local public library and then several small jobs to help during college. After I graduated from college, I worked at the ticket counter at the Natural History Museum in NYC. My first full-time job was as a tour guide at the United Nations headquarters in NY where I worked for 4 and a half years. Then again did some smaller jobs during graduate school. After I graduated, not having found a job in either of my degrees, I started a small business designing photo books. Then, I taught visualization and meditation. After that, I did freelance email marketing consulting for solopreneurs. Then I became a self-taught web designer and started my web design business. And now I am again discovering what my next phase will be all about.
Talk about career changes!
So to think that a 14-year-old should now know what he will be doing for the rest of his life is, to me, pretty insane.
Okay, of course, some were born knowing that they wanted to be a cellist already while in their mother’s womb. Or they know they want to be an athlete. Or they know singing is the only thing they want to do. If you are one of those, fine, this article may not reflect you but it will inform you about the rest of us mortals and our career struggles!
Being a child as a child
Gary Vee in his answer reminded the 14-year-old that with the progress in technology, he might live to about 150 years. And that almost everyone in this room would have wanted in their childhood to have played more, hung out some more, did more of the “childhood” things.
We look back and can see that our time as a child was precious. He then asks the kid to follow his curiosity. See what sparks his interest. What makes him jump up with joy? And he reminds him to try different things before making up his mind. To make a point, he asked his audience, “Who in the audience doesn’t like oysters?” Some hands go up. He then asks, “Of those who raised their hands, how many have not tried oysters?” Some of the hands stayed up. Gary reminded the kid to try things out before making a decision or ruling it out.
As I watched this exchange between Gary and the kid, I felt like this message was for me and a lot of us out there who are wondering about our life path.
Ambition, aspiration, goals - these are wonderful things that keep us moving forward.
And then there are times when those same ambitions, aspirations, and goals keep us stuck, suck the life force out of us, and leave us questioning and doubting ourselves; asking what we are meant to do with our lives.
So that’s the dilemma. We have aspirations and ambitions. Then we have curiosity and finding meaning or leaving a legacy. And then we have contentment. How do we navigate all of that?
I have a couple of suggestions on how to make sense of this. And I want to share two key aspects that tie all of it together.
#1. We need to let our curiosity and delight guide us.
What if you allowed yourself to try new ideas that you were curious about? Things that don’t make sense for your career progression or professional growth but simply interest you. Perhaps, something that sparks joy for the inner child within you. What if you were to take some time and go do that? To see what happens.
#2. We need to learn to be more content with our lives.
Being content doesn’t necessarily mean not having aspirations or goals or being complacent. It means being satisfied and humble about our progress so far. It means looking back and seeing how far we have come.
For instance, if my aim is to lose 15 pounds, and I check to see that I have lost 2 pounds since I started the path of becoming healthy, then I am celebrating and being happy about the progress made so far, instead of bemoaning how far I am from my ideal of losing 15 lbs.
This way of thinking is a new thinking habit. We have to wean ourselves out of the constant future-goal seeking. Yes, the future goal can be motivating and can inspire us to make changes and to take action. But it should not demolish our well-being because we realize we are so far away from achieving the ideal. Every small step is a win. Drop by drop the whole ocean is filled up.
So combining these two ingredients of curiosity and contentment, we can chart our path. Being present to the good that is already here. Being curious about where our next evolution is emerging. Allowing and receiving, observing and growing, creating and sharing.
So, how does one cultivate the art of contentment?
What I have found is that I would set a goal in my life or business. Then, work diligently to achieve it. Once I got there, I was happy for a moment. And then I set up the next goal. This cycle is exhausting, never ending and only brings a fleeting sense of joy or pleasure. Winning feels good. But it’s tiring to always be chasing that goal. And then once the goal is arrived at, I would move the goal further. Phew, I am out of breath just thinking about this.
Don’t move the goalpost and think that’s where your next source of contentment lies. That would be a lie.
This is certainly the case with earning more income. Princeton University researchers have put data behind this statement, “Money can keep buying happiness for already happy people, but among the most unhappy, the money helps stave off unhappiness only to a point.” (Source: https://behavioralpolicy.princeton.edu/news/DK_wellbeing0323) In other words, moving the income goal post higher will only solve some of the unhappiness, and then after reaching a point, its happiness-benefit declines.
I am not saying you shouldn’t aspire to earn more. No, please go ahead, and earn millions. We need more of you to become high net worth individuals and create wealth; generational wealth for our families.
Move your goalpost to get to the next level. But not to feed your contentment.
And if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. That’s okay. Follow your curiosity. Be patient. And try different things. Maybe the trying of different things is where your source of contentment resides.
How do we get out of this cycle that gets us out of breath, out of soul, and out of alignment with who we are?
Decouple contentment from aspiration.
We need to decouple our contentment from our goals and aspirations. We need to recognize what the purpose of goals is and we need to identify what the source of our contentment is. Again, that doesn’t mean letting go of the goals and aspirations. Not at all. Let me explain what I mean.
The goals and aspirations that you have about your life, business or relationships are for one purpose - helping you to determine your actions and your habits. It helps you define what you want to do to experience the fruition of your goals. So if my goal is to lose 15 lbs., this goal determines the key actions and habits that I need to develop: eating healthy and moderately, doing some walking, strength training, or cardio every day. The goals help me craft my plan of action.
However, the goals or the reaching of the goals is not where I get my contentment. Your goals are not there to feed your sense of contentment.
Your source of contentment can come from a combination of things: Gratitude is a great starting point. But if gratitude is cursory, superficial, or forced, then it will not lead you to your contentment. Add these other elements to your contentment recipe, while deepening gratitude:
Self-appreciation: appreciating yourself for every action step you take towards your goals.
So taking the same example of weight loss, I appreciate myself when I do eat moderately or do go and get my 20 minutes of strength training done.
Humility: acknowledging that the goal is important and aspirational but you’ve already taken baby steps and are doing the best you can. This includes being patient with yourself as you make progress. Being aware that you are doing your best and have already made efforts and progress despite challenges and setbacks.
Enjoying the process: actually enjoying the path towards the goals.
In my case, enjoying the movement and the experience of the machines when I do strength training. Actually enjoying what I am doing right now, right here.
Contextualizing Setbacks: We often look at setbacks on our path as a way of determining that we are not good enough in the thing we want to achieve. But by looking at setbacks as a status report, we can relieve the pressure and the gnawing mental pain and suffering that losing or having a setback can cause us.
So if the goal is not being achieved or you’ve experienced a setback of any sort, assess it, and study it to find the meaning or the lesson within it. The setback is not to be used to define you as a “loser”. But it’s here to guide you to the changes you need to make. This is how you can turn a setback into a winning ingredient and a deepening of your self-recognition as someone who keeps going and perseveres.Assessing from the past, how far you’ve come: Deriving your joy and contentment by looking back and seeing the progress made so far. I can celebrate my efforts and the progress that I have made since I began this journey. It helps me to stop comparing my present results with a future ideal. But look at the past and see how much change I have made. And this looking back is not connected with the results. I may have gained 2 pounds since I started, but I notice the changes I have made, the challenges I have overcome, and the lessons/insights I have gained. This is not about tracking results. It’s about looking at inner transformation and change within.
So we use goals to chart our course forward.
We unlink our contentment from the results.
Not postponing our joy to the future point when we think we will arrive at our goal.
We get clear about our true source of contentment.
Recognizing the joys of the process right now, enjoying the thrill of doing the work now, and experiencing the benefits of your progress now not later.
It’s a practice.
Make the click in your mind of where your true source of contentment comes from.
And then you can still pursue your goals but you experience contentment already now long before the goal materializes as your experience.
PS: If you are on LinkedIn, I invite you to connect with me there for more conversations and connections. If you want more tips and invites to trainings on how to grow your freelance online business, join the Abundant Creative Newsletter here.
Space between Sense Perceptions and Response
Short Talk + Guided Loving Kindness Meditation
Are we ill-equipped to deal with life?
Often I’ve wondered about this while pondering about our world.
Why are so many people suffering? Why are they experiencing all kinds of misery? Why does life bring us into this world of suffering, at all?
Written by Sophia / Abundance Through Imagination
I help you create abundance in your life using the law of assumption and Neville Goddard teachings.
About | Contact | YouTube | Free Masterclass
Often I’ve wondered about this while pondering about our world.
Why are so many people suffering? Why are they experiencing all kinds of misery? Why does life bring us into this world of suffering, at all?
This line of thinking inevitably leads to feelings of sadness for the state of the world. And thus, I too, slip into a form of suffering - a suffering that comes from seeing others in pain and misery.
Then, I saw an interview of Jenifer Lopez by Oprah as part of Oprah’s 2020 Vision Tour Visionaries. In this interview, J Lo was describing how she feels that life is just beginning at 50 while Oprah accentuates the point that life doesn’t even begin to get good until we are in the 40’s and 50’s.
I get the good intention of that statement - it’s about reminding us that things are still good and will get better when we turn 40 or 50.
But why do people have to go through years and years of being lost and struggling till they get to the “good part”. Why “waste” 40 or 50 years before we get to realizations and insights and begin to enjoy life? (Nothing is a waste, I am using that word to exaggerate the point only!)
So while all this pondering and wondering was going on, I listened to a lecture by Neville Goddard. In it, he was talking about our human capability to imagine. He said that we don’t ever have to create our imagination; it’s always with us. We may not be good at using imagination. We may not yet have mastered the art of imagination. But we don’t have to invent it. It’s already something we know how to do.
That’s when it clicked:
We are already birthed into this world with all that we need. We are already given the tools to navigate this life.
I used to wonder why we are so ill-equipped to deal with this life. It seems like everyone is going through some version of emotional, physical or mental hurdles. But I realized that it’s not that we are ill-equipped; we are unaware of all that which we are equipped with. In fact, not only are we well-equipped to deal with this life, we have the best tools already within us.
If you know the movie, The Matrix - there’s a scene where Neo, the protagonist needs to fly a helicopter but doesn’t know how. He calls up control room and asks for the helicopter flying program to be uploaded to his mind. Then instantly he knows how to fly the helicopter!
I think that’s how it is for us. We already have the program we need. We just didn’t know.
The two tools that we are equipped with:
1. Awareness
2. Our Creative Imagination
We just need to use our creative imagination and we need to begin applying our awareness to life.
We have it all!
Peace,
Sophia
