On being present with our own big dreams

Photo Credit: Sophia Ojha

Why is it that we get distracted? Not when we don't know what we want in our life but precisely when we get clarity and understanding of our life's mission, it seems that distraction rears it head. 

We all know about the writer or creator or blogger who needs to have her home cleaned and laundry put away before she can even begin prepping for her work. She needs to make sure the bed is made, the dinner is prepared and all the other nitty gritty of life is in order first. Only then can she dust off her canvas or bring out her laptop to begin the daily practice that her craft requires.

Do you resonate with this? I certainly do. And I am becoming very aware of this recently as I have become intensely clear about the project that I am committing to.

It's not that all those tasks are not important, on the contrary, they are the foundations of life. But why do we have to do them in order to get on with our life's work? It's as if we are running away from the very thing we want.

Picture this - imagine you see a cartoon figure of a man who wants to reach for the door. His arms are reaching towards the door. At the same time, his legs are moving away from the door. It's a very confusing thing to be experiencing, if you are that man. Because on the one hand, there's crystal clear clarity about what we want in our life. But on the other hand, we are finding other things to do that consume our mind, attention, energy and our time ⏤ leaving us deflated and even more confused about our situation.

So how do we resolve this?

The best way to untie this entangled mess that we find ourselves in, is by going into deep reflection about the situation. By asking ourselves the questions like, "what do I need to understand in order to break this pattern?" or "what steps do I need to take in order to implement the big main task, my current important project?" Questions want answers and your inner-self will guide you with the right answers that will help you specifically move through this.

When I ask myself these questions, this is what I discovered:

What I need to understand is this:

For the longest time, you've been wandering with doubt and confusion about your life's purpose. You've been unclear about your next steps and you've been impatient with yourself in the process. You've also beat yourself up for 'not being there' already ⏤ meaning not having achieved 'it'. 'It' being this nebulous, unclear ideal of achievement that even you don't know what it’s supposed to be. You've also struggled to follow your heart and suffered from the pressures of family and societal expectations about being a successful career-woman and a fantastic housewife with all the i's dotted and all the t's crossed.
 

You've had 15 years of dealing with all of this plus your own pain body filled with pain and suffering both from that of being born a woman and the suffering you've picked up of all the animals in distress along with karmic pain and suffering that has followed you for millennia. All of this and infinitely more you have dealt with while trying to get focused in a world filled with loud distractions of a gazillion kind. 

Remember you had no training or education or guidance growing up for any of this. You are figuring it out as you go ⏤ like the rest of humanity. 

It's been a tall order. But you've tried. You’ve made efforts. You worked on figuring this thing out. This thing called life. You've reached out to books. Watched 100's of TouTube videos, Ted talks and meditation sessions. You've walked countless miles in the forests. You've meditated countless hours. You've searched and finally, you've come to a certain clarity and a sense of purpose.

But that clarity and sense of purpose is all new. It has no real deep roots. All the other things that have become a pattern in you are deeply rooted⏤the distractions, the noise, the doubt.

Once you realize that you are transitioning to a new way of being, it will become easier for you to walk into that new pattern. Just recognize that you are transforming into a different pattern. And this transformation is happening right now. It is happening every time you shift yourself slightly, steer yourself ever so slightly towards the clarity and purpose that you have found.

So all you need to do is to simplify your goals and simplify your life in such a way that all that is loud and distracting, minimizes and fades away. What remains is just you and the task at hand - the task that you chose to have as your main task at hand. 

So what steps do I need to take in order to implement my big, main goal?

Help yourself in these ways:

1. Write clearly in your day plan when in the day you will be doing your work.

This time is just for your writing or creating or whatever you “work” is. Nothing else. All else, unless an emergency, can wait until their turn. This especially applies to doing the dishes, running errands and all the other things of life ⏤ important but not to be done when it's time for you to create.

2. Reduce your responsibilities and tasks in all other areas of life as much as possible.

This will mean that you bring the volume down on your other projects that are not as important as the main one that you've identified. If you can completely let go of other projects, that will simplify things even more. But we do need other engagements other than our main task ⏤ because creativity needs space to breathe and germinate. So let's say you are a painter, when you are doing your other project ⏤ say gardening, that's when you get inspiration on how to resolve something you are working on currently. So don't completely take away those things but certainly reduce other projects.

3. Remind yourself of your goal or task several times a day.

Especially, when you have a newly found clarity about your life, it's important to write it down in your journal or notebook that you keep with you at all times and read from it several times a day. This clarity is ever flickering until it becomes solidified in your consciousness, in your awareness. So write it down and refer to it several times a day so you know exactly what you are doing and why you are doing it. This action will also fill you up with ideas and energy for implementing those ideas.

This I hope is helpful to you in dealing with your own distractions. Getting distracted is an old way of being. It’s habitual and has arisen in your life as a way to deal with all the confusion, the sadness, the doubt and the suffering you have experienced. What better way to dim the light of suffering than putting your mind to something entertaining like a distraction? Or so it seems. It does give relief and for that purpose, distractions are a breath of fresh air in our too often sad, difficult lives. But they are only a temporary relief ⏤ not something to get used to as a permanent solution. We recognize the benefit of distractions and use them wisely in times we need to put our minds at ease with something other than what we are dealing with. In the end, we each will find our own way of getting focused and clear.

And I hope the introspection questions I shared here with you will help you find your own unique answers. 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Do you get distracted? If yes, what do you think distraction does for you? What have you found to be your unique solutions to distractions? And if you are not distracted anymore, tell us how you found a way to be present with your own big dreams instead of getting drowned in the noise of distractions?

Much love,
Sophia

5 Life lessons that bring peace of mind

In recent months, I've had many realizations after going through periods of doubt, sadness, frustration and impatience - mostly around work. But only last week have I begun writing things down as part of my daily journaling practice.

The results of this daily writing have been incredible. Not only have I begun feeling greater ease within myself, I am also finding clarity about larger life principles that feed into that sense of ease and inner-peace. And I'd like to share these with you so that you too can benefit from contemplating these ideas and insights. Hopefully, they bring you inner-peace and a calm mind as a result.

5 Life Lessons That Bring Me Peace of Mind:

This insight and understanding that I've gained through my moments of doubt can be laid out as 5 life lessons. These are as follows:
 

Photo credit: Melanie Magdalena

1. Learn to be in the present moment:
Just to preface this life lesson - it is a deep learning and to master it may take a lot of practice, as I am finding out myself. But every moment you are in the present moment, serves as a stepping stone towards deeper peace. 

Being in the present moment is all about being fully focussed on the here and now. Bring your complete attention to what you are doing right now. Whatever that may be, be completely dedicated to that one thing. As if you were nursing an ill animal back to life and your entire being is required to help it make it through. You will drop everything else and just be fully there for it. (Replace "animal" with any loved being in your life - child, husband, friend, mother, etc.)

So you are completely "with" that other person or being. If there's no one with you then you are being fully present with yourself. Being there with your complete attention. Like the teacher and monk, Thich Nhat Hahn reminds us to say, "Darling, I am here for you". Taking that idea towards yourself.  

This is not an easy task as thoughts come in from all directions. But don't try to get rid of your thoughts. Just be present with them as well. You are experiencing thoughts from the past - be with it. You are experiencing thoughts about the future - just be with it. It's completely allowed. And that in itself is the key. Allow them. Allow them to just be instead of wanting them to not be. The side effect of this approach often turns out that the thoughts quiet down. But even if they don't that's fine. At least you were present to them. You showed up to your own party, so to speak! You were the witness to your own life and that's enough. Really. That's good enough.

Being in the present moment = being witness to what is.

I am continuously learning to be in the present moment. And the more I realize I am here, now, the easier it becomes to "tackle" life. How so? Well, then I only have to deal with that which is in front of me, not the barrage of goals, tasks, aspirations and dreams, problems and struggles of my entire life. No, I am present to just this, just this that's in front of me. This one thing. And I CAN handle this one thing. Easy!

Photo credit: Natalia Luchanko

2. Focus on being helpful

This is absolutely powerful. Once I begin to bring this guiding principle into my focus, things tend to change. As soon as I say to myself, "Focus on being helpful", then all the pressures of being perfect, successful and the rest just fade away for me. Try it in your own life. When things start to get frustrating or overwhelming or in any way difficult, just ask yourself, "How can I be of help in this situation?"

That shifts your focus from you and your problems to how you can be of use, of service to others. And don't get me wrong this is not about taking away attention from your problems or ignoring them. Not at all. It's more about shifting your focus to solutions and being of service instead. 

If we bring this idea into our daily focus, not just on those days when we are having a hard time, then we begin to make this a part of our way of being. We cultivate it as a habit and it becomes a part of who we are and you begin to think of yourself as someone who thinks of how he or she can be of help. 

This self-image is very conducing to mental peace. Why? Because you consider yourself in a positive way. Too often, we have a harsh, negative perspective of ourselves - often too harsh! But when we begin seeing ourselves as somebody who is helpful to others, you inadvertently begin to like yourself a bit more. You then learn to be kinder to yourself and can bring more compassion and patience towards yourself. So even though having the focus of helping others is a wonderful virtue to cultivate for its own sake, it has an immense positive effect on us and how we view ourselves. Then this positive view gives us peace and positive outlook for solving our own problems.

You see - this is how the golden rule works! You help others and as a result you begin to help yourself.

Photo by: Saksham

3. Love what you do

This is an antidote to all the confusion that's caused by the sayings "Find what you love " and "Follow your bliss". In themselves these are great sayings that give guidance to many. But to some, including myself, these statements have caused confusion and even frustration. What if I don't know what I love? What if I don't know what is my bliss?

I've felt this many, many, many, many times in my life as I took upon very different things as my work. From being a United Nations Tour Guide to a meditation instructor to working in an office (very short time) to online marketing consultant and so on. 

I'd feel excited for these things for a bit and then over time - sometimes years, sometimes months and sometimes only after a few days, lose complete interest. Part of the reason is because I completely immerse myself into something and then get burnt out. I would ask myself, "If this thing that I am completely immersing myself in is supposed to be my bliss, supposed to be my "calling", then I could never get burnt out. It would keep fueling my interest and my energy because after all, I've found my thing, my purpose! But this way of thinking was not helpful because inadvertently, I did lose all steam for that one thing. I'd lose my drive, interest and enthusiasm. And may be it's just be being a Sagittarius or may be it this way with many others - if I am not interested or excited about something, I just cannot be involved. I've got to get out of there. If there's nothing that pulls me to be engaged in something, I will voluntarily withdraw myself from that endeavor.

So this way of being caused a lot of stress, uncertainty and even sadness because I could no longer be certain that what I do next will hold my attention for any set period of time. I was painfully aware that it could disappear or fade away anytime. So what to do?

First, I had to learn to let go of the notion that there is one life purpose. I had to let go of the idea that there's one thing that I will be doing all my life. That's just not going to work.

Instead I had to learn a new approach: love whatever I am doing now.

Loving whatever I am doing now has a lot to do with knowing the big picture. If I can be aware of why I was doing something, what was the purpose of it and what is the end result I am working towards, then I could more easily learn to love what I was doing. That connects back with being in the present moment and focusing on being helpful. Those two are the building blocks of this third life lesson. It helps to know the big picture - the why. That brings me to the fourth life lesson - Focus on the end results.

But before I share about that fourth life lesson, there's one more thing I'd like to share about loving what you are doing. When you take the approach of loving what you are doing, you remind yourself that this thing that I am doing has a purpose, a reason and some benefit. I remind myself of the benefit this action brings to others. And even if you can't find yourself to love it, remember that only when you are content with what is, can you break free from it and move towards the new reality you want to create. You begin to create a new reality as soon as you are detached from it and accepting of what is currently happening so that you can begin to take conscious, inspired action out of presence and detachment and not out of a negative mind state of resistance, frustration, anger and such.
 

Photo Credit: Luis Del Río Camacho

4. Focus on the end results.

This is something that you may have read or heard from many a new age book or personal development guru. The idea has certainly been made popular by the book and film, "The Secret". The idea that simply resonates with us - visualize the end result.  Most recently, I heard Mike Dooley talk about focusing on the end result in his book, Playing the Matrix. 

I too have found from personal experience that focusing on the end result is very helpful in my day to day life - I will explain more below. But before I share how that is helpful, I've got to share a word of caution.

Visualizing the end result alone is not enough for the everyday person. 

There are countless stories of mystics and saints who have instantly manifested things and situations and healings just by visualizing it. They create an image of what they want to see and instantly it comes into being. You can thing of any of the famous saints, nuns, monks, zen masters, yogis, sufi mystics, shamans and so on, in every corner of our globe where miracles have come to pass.

These individuals demonstrate to us the power and potentialities that each human being has within her/him. They embody mastery of mind over matter, the power of visualization. They were also very advanced meditators - someone who could go into deep states of stillness.

But most of us are not that far advanced on that path. That means, although we too can visualize and work with the still, quiet mind, it is not enough to quickly bring into reality that which we want to create just with the use of visualization alone. We need something more - which I will talk more in detail in the final life lesson below - taking consistent action.

That's why visualizing the end result alone is not enough for those of us who are not very advanced in using our mind's powers fully. That's why we need all these other life lessons to work in sync with visualization. 

So now that I've gotten that out of the way, let's talk about visualizing the end result.

Why is it important to know the end result? There are tons of reasons for this. The most obvious one is this: so that you know where you want to arrive at and so that when you take action you can assess whether you are moving toward or away from your desired end result.  

But focusing on the end result also does one magical thing for you - it frees you from the nitty gritty reality. What do I mean by this? You see, when you focus on let's say inner-peace, or financial well-being, you keep your eyes set on the big picture. You keep your focus on how you want to experience life. And it frees you from the nitty-gritty of the "how" your end result manifests. 

See, one of the great miseries on the path of realizing one's dream comes from our being too attached with how something happens. Let's take for example, Sunita's vision. Her End Result is "living in a state of inner-peace". Now does it matter really if she experiences this through following Christian teachings or Buddhist teachings? Does it matter if Sunita experiences deep inner-peace by going for walks in the woods everyday or by meditating every day? If the end result she experiences is inner peace, it doesn't really matter "how" it came into being, does it?

Take another example. Say for example Alex wants to experience the freedom of being able to write for 5 hours a day. That's all he wants to do and wants to be sustained sufficiently - meaning, he wants that all his material needs are easily fulfilled. So what if now, as he focuses on his end result of being able to write every day for 5 hours, his wife's, Tanisha, online business takes off. She is now, single-handedly, making the income of a two-person household with plenty left over to save for retirement. Tanisha is overjoyed that she can help her husband live a fulfilling life of a writer with her successful business. This leaves Alex the freedom he was envisioning to be able to write for 5 hours a day and not have to go get a day job. Nor does he have the pressure of having to create a New York Times best-seller. All he has to focus on is writing every day.

So now does it matter whether Alex achieved his end result through the financial success of his wife? The same end result could have been achieved in a gazillion different ways:
he gets a huge inheritance,
his real estate investment that he made 10 years ago is suddenly providing a monthly income that pays for all his and his wife's needs,
he gets a book contract which leads to a big success securing his future financial needs,
he gets a part-time job as an editor that pays all his bills and leaves him 5 hours to write daily,
his YouTube channel earns him a monthly income that covers all his family's needs, 
and on and on.

It doesn't matter how the end result manifests, as long as it does. And when we focus on the end result (while taking action and doing the other things I mentioned in Life lessons 1-3), then we are able to be detached as to how our dreams manifest. We give life an opportunity to make things happen with greater freedom. 

It's like the story of the drowning man. Do you know this one? I've heard it a long time ago so some details I have added in to make the story understandable. So here's the story which goes something like this...

Once there was a big flood that filled the streets of a residential area. A lot of people were rescued or were able to flee in time. But there was this one man who got stranded on the roof of his house. This man was a man of faith. He had faith that he would be rescued. He knew that in his heart. 

Soon, a rescue team passes by. They are in a small canoe rowing their way through the streets. The spot this man and offer him to jump into the canoe. The man says, "No, thank you. I have faith that I will be rescued". Surprised, the rescue team moves on to find others to help.

Then, a speed boat passes by. They, too, notice the man and offer him to take him to higher ground. He says the same thing. "No, thank you. I have faith that I will be rescued." Stunned, the guys move on.

The man continues to hope and pray and visualize him being rescued.

Next, a rescue helicopter come by. They spot the stranded man and hurl out a hanging ladder for him to climb up. Again, the man refuses. The helicopter team flies away, astonished.

Unfortunately, to make a point in this story, the man drowns.

The story, of course, doesn't end yet.

The man goes to heaven. He meets God. The man is shocked that inspite of his faith and belief and all the visualizing, he still drowned. So he asks God, "Why didn't you come to rescue me, God? I had so much faith in you and I visualized being rescued so clearly."

God nods and then says, "Boy, I did come to rescue you! I first sent you a canoe, then a speed boat and then even an expensive helicopter. But did you climb on? No! You did nothing!"

The man realizes his error. He did not take action. No matter how clearly he visualized his being rescued, the final step - taking the action to step on the rescue vehicle - was all his job. Plus, he was attached to the "how". I have no idea what exactly this man visualized. But it certainly didn't look like a canoe, a speed boat or a helicopter. Because it didn't match his very specific End Result Visualization, he didn't accept the help that did come his way.

How often do we do that? We don't take action. We just visualize. And we fail to see the help that is right in front of us. We imagine some complicated, struggle-filled, hardship-entailing solution when the simple answers are right in front of us. Do you relate? I certainly have done this and every time I fall into this old trap, I try to remind myself: "Don't judge what is in front of you as not good enough. You never know, this may be your canoe, your speedboat, your helicopter!"

And that's why visualizing the end result and then letting go of "how" that end result manifests, is very helpful in my every day life. Because it is freeing. Because it helps free up the infinite, gazillion ways of how that end result could manifest for us. And isn't that wonderful? Why be attached to how something unfolds when another way may be easier, faster, happier, more splendid and marvelous than what we could have carved out for ourselves?

So let go of the how, and simply focus on the end result, and then take action. More on that next.

Photo by: Cristy Zinn

5. Keep Taking Action

This is the final life lesson which I've mentioned in the last section - keep taking action. Taking action - any "good" action is helpful to you on your path moving forward. Even if you take a misguided or "wrong" action (I don't thing there's a wrong action, only a misguided action, perhaps), you can recognize your ways and make adjustments. It is important to take action.

For instance, last summer, I volunteered at my local real estate association to facilitate a six-week mastermind group for 10 or so committed professionals who wanted to make inroads in their real estate investment goals. My job along with my husband who was the co-facilitator, would be to gather interest in the program, set up the application process to find the most committed people - people who were committed to show up each week, organize the meetings, recruit speakers who were advanced investors and facilitate the flow of each meeting. This turned out to be a lot of fun but also a lot of work. Every participant benefitted immensely - they made new best friends, got partners for their investment projects, got valuable information and mentoring from experienced investors and most of all, the built a sense of confidence in themselves and found encouragement from each other to go ahead. 

As a facilitator, I learnt a lot - both about real estate but mostly about myself, my skills, areas to develop further, dealing with nerves while speaking to a group which were all older than me. ( I am working on dissolving this mental pattern of "I am younger than them - what can I offer them"). But most of all, I learnt that I don't want to immerse my time in the subject matter of real estate. I loved facilitating and organizing the mastermind and the results of success that each participant felt because of joining the group, but I didn't want to be surrounded by the topic of real estate - that one thing became clear.

As much as the subject matter of real estate is interesting to me (I am interested in a lot of topics), and I love to learn about it, I just don't want to spend all my time in that topic. This I would not have known, had I not gone out there and volunteered my time to create this mastermind. It was an idea that I followed through on. I took action. But then I realized I needed to recalibrate.

The important lessons I learnt from that summer is priceless and I know it will help in my next endeavor, whatever that may be. But I had to take those steps. So starting that mastermind was not a wrong action, not even misguided - because it was guided by the intention to help others and learn by experience the art of facilitation. In the end, I realized I needed to move on.

I am sharing all these details to demonstrate that we don't have to know the right steps. We just need to take the next steps with the best intention and the best of our current knowledge and understanding. Then we can recalibrate. 

This reminds me of airlines and how pilots are constantly course correcting. They start off at New York in the general direction of Atlanta. They are headed South but enroute, based on the new information they receive, they adjust their course. Finally, they land at Altanta airport precisely as desired.

Similarly, we've got to have an end destination in mind (Life Lesson 4). Then we've got to start the engine and move forward. Assess what's happening and then based on the best information we have at the moment, course correct and adjust our actions. In the end, we will arrive precisely as imagined, even though the path taken may have been unclear and nebulous!

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So, my friends, I hope that these five lessons are insightful to you as they have been for me. I wish for you to have a peaceful, happy, life - a life that you want for yourself. If you'd like to discuss any elements that I've shared here, please make your constructive, helpful comments below. 

Warmly,

Sophia


 

My cat didn't come home last night.

Lola, our 3.5 month old kitten went outside yesterday afternoon with all her brothers and sisters and her mama. They all returned but she has yet to come back. It is now the next morning 4 am.

She is the youngest and the smallest and the cutest of them all. 

She has missed her dinner.

I miss her. I kept listening all night to any sound on the door to see if she was back. I called out for her.

Clearly, I am attached. And I know that attachment is one of the root causes of suffering according to Buddhist thought. I am suffering.

Something happens in life. We don’t like it. We want it to be different than it is. We want it to be like we want it to be. And when it is not, we suffer. We are sad, angry, upset, restless and overall feel not so peaceful and content.

This is dukka or suffering. It is also the First Noble Truth. There is suffering in this world. I am suffering because my kitten is not home and I want her to be home. I am suffering because of my attachment to the good feeling I have when my kitten is home with me.

Do you know how this feels? Is there something you are suffering about?

While I am not at ease and sad, I also know in my heart that there must be a way out of this. First I know that things change. Nothing is constant. There is impermanence. Could this fact of life be my lifesaver? My refuge from my own pain?

Impermanence means that whatever I am going through is not going to stay this way for all time. The intensity of what I feel may change and even slowly dissipate. I may overcome this situation and find access to peace and even to joy and laughter again.

So that flicker of hope already helps me in seeing the bigger picture.

That means whatever is going on, there is a root cause for it. The cause is inside my mind. The thoughts, the reactions, the sensations that emerge in response to the things in the world are part of the root cause of suffering. So that means, if I remove the causes, I can remove suffering. 

That’s the Second Noble Truth. There are certain things that cause my suffering.

So how do I deal with these causes of suffering. I must stop these causes that are inside my mind. I must learn to train my mind which is best done through meditation. In meditation, I can train my mind to simply observe. This is a ray of sunshine right now in the middle of my suffering - my yearning for my kitten to return home, my sadness emerging from her absence, my fear of her being in trouble without help, my desire for her to not suffer, my desire for her wellbeing at all times and not knowing if she is well, my inability to help her in case she needs my help - all root causes of my suffering.

But there is a way out.

There is a way out of suffering. That’s the Fourth Noble Truth. There is a solution to it. We CAN dissolve suffering and pain. There is a way out of this.

Does that give you a sense of hope as well? Whatever you are going through, there is a way out of it. It is not permanent and you can do something to change it.

So that means, I can take steps to help myself out of my own suffering. By observing and accepting what what I am feeling, I can dissolve it. By not having craving and not having aversion towards it.

I have to learn how to not crave things - in my case, how to not strongly want Lola to be back home.

I have to learn how to not have aversion to things, in my case, how not to dislike that she has not returned.

No craving, no aversion. 

Does that mean I must walk around like a feelingless ball of rock?

No.

It means I must learn how to deal with reality again. I must learn how to accept life first. I must learn how to be fine with what is. And this comes from not believing all my thoughts. Accepting my feelings and my situation as they are without judging them as bad.

By observing my breath. Specifically speaking, observing how the breath touches the area above the upper lip and below the nose. If I can just observe that area and how the incoming and outgoing breath touch it, I can help myself out of craving. This is one of the practices that the Buddha taught and the main practice that Webu Sayadaw, the Burmese Monk of high stature who was thought to be enlightened, taught.

When I am focussing on the area above my upper lip and below the nostrils, I can feel my mind slowly calm down. It is like a wild, turbulent ocean with big waves going everywhere, calming down slowly and become a serene, peaceful body of water with undulating waves making a soothing sound as they roll across the beach.

When I observe my breath and how it touches that area, I notice that my breath slows down. I take softer and softer breaths. I feel a wave of calm.

When I observe my breath and how the incoming breath and outgoing breath touch the area below my nose and above the upper lip, I feel my body slowly dissolves. I feel vibrations, very gentle sensations at times, at times heaviness in my legs, at times I feel I am floating and without a body. But for this, my body is sitting upright, without any movement - very very still.

These are moments of extreme peace and contentment.

This is the Third Noble Truth. Nibbana, the cessation of suffering.

This is the outline, a script, a recipe, a formula for getting out of suffering and being at peace that the Buddha gave us 2500 years ago. It is not about believing in a God or following a religion. It is about a practical solution to our every day human condition - suffering and coming out of suffering.

Right now, my kitten is not home still. It is 4:49 am the day after she went for a walk. I hope she is resting under some bushes in the forest behind our home. I hope that she will be back home. But right now, I am fine. I know that this is not permanent. I know that this too shall pass.

All I can do is observe my breath. I will do that now. Will you join me?

Update: The little kitten, Lola, came frolicking back home later that same day and began playing with her sister and brothers! As if she had never left :-)

Embrace introspection as way to deepen your inner-peace and happiness

I am all about training our mind to become an ally in our life because a trained, calm mind is a powerful thing. This may be the single most important skill that I have been introduced to in my life. And this skill is best refined through a meditation practice. But there's also something else for us.

You see, I consider myself a beginner in my meditation practice. So, while I am making progress in the meditative practice which strengthens my mind, calms it and builds equanimity (calm-balanced mind in the face of good and bad), I realize that I can also do other thought-cleansing activities. 

And that's introspection. Merriam-Webster's definition goes like this:

introspection

noun  in·tro·spec·tion \ˌin-trə-ˈspek-shən\

:  a reflective looking inward
:  an examination of one's own thoughts and feelings

I do not see this word very often in our everyday conversations. I love this word and the idea that it stands for, and hopefully, we can become more of an introspective society that reflects inward and examines itself more closely with compassion and self-love. To me, introspection means becoming aware of my inner-world, especially as it reacts and responds to the outside world. With introspection, we can find solutions to our every day life challenges, because the answers are already within us.

Each one of us has to make our own decisions based on the inner-strength and understanding we have developed. No matter how much an answer is provided ready-made and pre-designed by others, it will only have a real impact in our lives if we live it, embrace it and make it our own. The process of introspection helps us with that.

Introspection - a stepping stone to a deeper meditative experience

Introspection may help us in our everyday life, with solutions for relationships and work and our community. But that's only the beginning. That's still working on the external level - meaning the physical world that we live in that includes people, places, situations, relationships, objects, environment, events and processes of change in nature, and so on. We are just playing in the world of external physical things.

Beyond the external, physical world, there's an entire universe within our inner-world that remains for us to explore. It is full of high potentiality for us as human beings evolving at this time in our history. Within this inner-world lies not only the answers to our current "problems" but also immense transcendental treasures that I cannot even begin to speak about because I have not fully explored them myself.  However, I've read that many mystics, saints, shamans and noble beings have. And they have left for us clues along the path.

How to take the first steps to sipping the transcendental experience?

But the question remains, how can we even begin to get there (non-physical, transcendental inner-world of treasures), if we do not take even the first steps? The first steps include introspection activities and meditation. And taking first steps means consciously investing and blocking of time for such activities daily. If we cannot invest time to do this in our worldly activities, then the fruits within our inner-reservoir will remain illusive. We can only dream about experiencing that which we do not know exists for us within us to explore. We must begin to take the first steps.

And this has to be daily; not weekly, monthly or once in a while. Daily! Just like we shower and eat our meals daily! It has to become a daily practice because the effect of continuity is more powerful than sporadic engagement in something. Whenever we do something consistently, day-in and day-out, we begin to see real progress, real results. You know this yourself from any project you have been involved in. When left alone for a while, the project takes much more effort to get back into in and then move forward, than if you were to consistently work on it, isn't it? That's been my experience and I can personally feel into this idea and see how the consistency transfers over to meditation and introspective efforts.

So how would a daily introspective and meditative practice look like?

Before I go into an example, I must say that having huge goals for me have been very powerful. My school teacher back in Mumbai used to quote, "Reach for the stars. Even if you don't reach it, at least you won't be in the mud either." And I think to have an ideal to work towards is a good thing (especially, if we don't let ourselves be overwhelmed by it).

It is simple:

“Introspection:
15 minutes over lunch

Mediation:
60 minutes in the morning.
60 minutes in the evening.”

The formula:

Introspection: 15 minutes over lunch
Meditation: 60 minutes in the morning. 60 minutes in the evening.

(Just to be clear by meditation I am referring to silent meditation. No music. No words. Just observing your breath as it is without changing it or altering how you breath. Just observing with non-judgment.)

Because I am suggesting this formula doesn't mean that I am a master of it. Here's a little backstory (below) of my new meditative life that started in January of this year (2016). And you'll see that what I am sharing here (Daily Introspection + Meditation) is a big goal for me.

My meditation backstory for the purpose of inspiring you

I began working to establish a daily habit right after I returned from a 10-day mediation retreat in January of 2016 (by the way, if you want to begin a new meditation practice for the new year, go to a retreat in December. You will be helped by the new year energy of new beginnings to move you forward). Since January of 2016, I have been working to cultivate this habit. I ran into several roadblocks and speed bumps and even potholes along the way. I then went to my second 10 day retreat in May of 2016 and found that that experience turbocharged my efforts to meditate daily. By September 3rd 2016, I have more or less cultivated a one-hour-a-day practice (60 minutes in the evening). I meditated for 105 consecutive days and then ran into more challenges to keep up the practice. 

There are still lots of loose rocks on my path right now that I need to overcome. So, I am getting better at keeping the habit daily but not yet perfectly consistent with it. My vision and aim is that by December 31st, 2016, I'll be established in the two-times-a-day-hourly-meditation habit.

Why do we need introspection, then, if we have meditation?

So why do I speak of introspection after having put so much emphasis on meditation in this article so far?

The reason for this is: I've not yet achieved that big goal of meditating twice a day for two hours, which I know is so important for making huge inroads in compassion, self-love, equanimity, focus, perseverance and overall peace and happiness. And many of us are not there yet. So to help me move forward on this path, I rely on introspection. It is an "easier" thing to do which also serves as a stepping stone for greater and deeper inner-work (such as meditation).

With introspection activities, you are able to look closely at your thoughts and emotions, yourself. You are not discussing them with others. Perhaps, you have a journal to help you or a book that has introspective questions. Or you've downloaded one of my free PDFs (see Happiness Forecast blog posts) that has introspective exercises. But it is all you. You are alone with yourself. You get to know yourself. And you learn a ton!

Introspection exercises are important because they help pull out the essence within you. You gain clarity about your life and renewed energy for living, for serving, for following your drams. It is very powerful.

What is an example of introspective exercise?

There are some questions that I ask myself every few months and definitely at the end of each year during an annual introspection period (I'll talk more in detail about this in another blog, remind me if I forget).

An introspective exercise is a process of asking an open-ended question to yourself. Then you either write down what comes as an answer. Or you let that question simmer within you for a few hours or a few days.  

Below are some examples. Notice that they may look similar but it is included here because how a question is phrased will draw you to it in a certain way. So in this way you'll pick a particular version of a question that stirs you deeply.

What is important to me right now?

What makes me really happy?

What is the most essential in my life? If I could have only the most essential things what would they be?  

What are the three key things in my life?
("Things" refers to more than just objects, but you could feel that!)
 

Those are some good questions. Here are a few others that you can let simmer within you:

What do I want to do before I die?

What if I knew I would die in six months, what would I do first?

What would you do today if you knew you will die tomorrow?

And some more:

What does your soul look like? (I got this one from Oprah)

If there is one problem in the world you could solve right now (Aladdin's Genie grants you this wish), then what big global issue would you solve?

If you had no self-doubt and you were fully confident in yourself and your ability to succeed, what project or business idea would you invest yourself in?

And these two are classic questions in the personal development field:

If you knew you could not fail, what would you do?

If you had all the money, time and resources in the world, what would you do with your life?

An introspective exercise is a process of asking an open-ended question to yourself. Then you either write down what comes as an answer. Or you let that question simmer within you for a few hours or a few days.

The idea is to take one question and start contemplating it. You may journal answers to it without censoring yourself. I like to pick a question and take it with me on my walks to the forest. You can also ask yourself a single question daily and each time more and more clarity can emerge.

I think this would be a good time to pick a question that pops-up for you and go play with it. So take a look at the list above and pick one. There is, of course, no one correct answer or wrong answer- it's just an introspective process to get deeper in touch with ourselves and perhaps, to shed away some things that we no longer need or want.

Let me know how it turns out for you in the comments. I'd L.O.V.E to know! :-)

Love,
Sophia

PS: Have you checked our my free ecourse: 5 Days to a Happier Life? It has daily action-steps that you can easily implement to cultivate deeper happiness in your life. Click here to sign up to this free email course.

 Photo credit and big heartfelt thanks for the beautiful images used in this post goes to Teddy Kelley and Ben Duchac, respectively.Thank you both for your beautiful creations! 

---

About Sophia Ojha

Hey there! I am so happy you found us or are revisiting us here on the blog. 
Welcome! So that's me in the photo and I blog and make videos on the topic of happiness and inner-peace. Click here to learn more about me. Enjoy your stay here at reflectionpond.com!

Love, Sophia

My Top 5 Uplifting Books

Hello there!

I first learnt about this idea from Jack Canfield. He suggested that for setting the right tone to our day and in fact to our life, we must begin with a power hour in the morning. Essentially, a power hour includes:

20 minutes of exercise, 
20 minutes of meditation and
20 minutes of reading (uplifting materials).

In one of my Happiness Forecast episodes I recommended adding an hour of power to your day as part of the daily practices that cultivate happiness. There are more suggestions in that post including ten of my happiness boosting activities. 

Back to the hour of power and the reading part of it! So what exactly should we read in the morning? I would say read any piece of positive material that you gravitate towards. Ideally, they must be books so you can read it before turning on any of your devices. So here are my favorite uplifting materials:

1. The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra 

2. Turning the mind into an ally by Sakyong Mipham

3. The New Earth by Eckhart Tolle (or any of his books)

4. The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo

5. Ask and it is given by Abraham Hicks

There are tons of wonderful writers that I could list here but these are among the 5 books that I have read repeatedly and so they make the cut to be among my top 5. But I will add a bonus # 6 below just for fun because I have read this book several times as well and each time it has filled me up with positive thinking and the light of new possibilities.

6. Write it down and make it happen by Henriette Anne Klauser.

I love to start my day with some uplifting reads. I hope you find this quick list of my top 5 helpful to start off your day on the right tone because the first hour of your day can set the mood for the rest of the day; it's that powerful! 

Enjoy your reads and do share in the comments below your favorite reads!

With love,

Sophia

Do You Know Your Personal Velocity?

Do you know what your personal velocity is?

Your personal velocity — your pace of how you do things, how you live your life that feels just right for you.

It seems that in our fast-paced, hyperactive world, there is this unspoken pressure to do things with great speed. What if we are doing things so fast that our entire life passes us by like a fast-forward motion in a movie and we are unable to take a deep breath and experience it all fully?

This is something that may or may not be happening to you but I urge you to reflect upon your individual pace of life — your own pace of doing things. Not only do we need to know our personal pace but we also need to embrace ourselves and accept whatever that pace happens to be.

This is important if we want to live our lives in alignment with our inner-pace and feel the inner-peace that comes out of being in harmony with it.

Watch this video below that I shot with a message on personal velocity in the beautiful Black Forest area of Southern Germany.

So if you find yourself rushing because of an external pressure to speed up. Just recognize this. Become aware, take a deep breath or two and just focus on your inner-self for a moment.

As we turn the page and welcome a brand new year, I thank you deeply for staying with Reflection Pond and reading my messages and watching my videos. I am eager to see you again in 2016 and serve you with further reflections and personal tools for cultivating happiness and inner-peace. May you have a blessed holiday time and a very happy, prosperous and peaceful new year!

With lots of love,

Sophia
Helping You Live A Happier Life

Success Strategy: Just Show Up

What if despite all that you bring to the table, your original plan does not pan out?

Recently, I had such an experience where I had to reframe what success meant to me. As someone who has ever embarked on completing a project, you may resonate with my story. I put together a short video in which I share a recent "failure" that actually became a success as soon as I reframed it and then, amazingly, this actually led to the desired result I was originally going for. And all it took was: Showing up for the day.

Watch the video below to hear the full story:

I share a lot on this blog about detachment from end-results, letting go of negative emotions and sowing better seeds to reap the virtuous life we want to create. And even though from studying these principles from success literature, Buddhist philosophy and Western mysticism, I am gaining a deeper understanding, actually put these practices is far from easy.

Obstacles On the Path

So this is what happened:

For this month's video installment, I set about my plans to create a video presentation on Deepak Chopra's Law of Karma (part of a book review and interpretation series you can find here). As I began filming in my backyard, I first realized that my camera battery was dying. This was puzzling because I had done the pre-shoot prep the night before and charged all batteries. "Very well", I said and brought out my other battery that was indeed fully charged and ready to go.

Next, as I started to record the video, I saw that my sound recorder (the beautiful H4N) was full in capacity - even though, I had formatted the disk the night before! It turned out that I had not done it correctly (inspite of having used this thing for several years, I still stumbled upon the novice error of deleting the content on the harddrive and not the real thing!) Well, I took a deep breath, formatted the disk and continued.

Then, as I began presenting the content, my lovely young friends (neighbors' kids ranging from 4 to 12 years in age) came hopping along excitedly to see what fun I was up to. Seeing the camera, tripod and my set-up generally excites them as they are all budding artists. And so, I found myself getting distracted, or shall I say rather drawn by their curiosity and fascination with the film process!

Soon, they were gone and I was ready to do the shoot. But now, I fumbled on my words and struggled to find the flow and inspiration. I referred to my notes but nothing! I took some deep breaths after which I began to find my eloquence.

It was not going to be that easy, was it? Because just as I started to speak with ease and rhythm, it started to rain. I quickly brought my equipment into dryland and began moping about! I felt like my day was a total wasted, filled with distractions, technical inconveniences, lack of inspiration and a creative struggle for completion.

The Wise Man Speaks

Thankfully, my wise husband was in the house when all of this was happening. He asked me, "What's going on?" I shared with him the day's experience. He simply smiled and said, "You showed up. That is what matters."

You know how some women are dissatisfied when their partners are "men of few words"? Well, in my case, I am just so blessed. In just a few words, my husband had shed crystal clear light on the message of the day.

You see, on my path of self-discovery and happiness, I have stumbled many times. And often it was because I didn't have the courage to show up. Excuses would mar my progress towards my beloved goals and dreams. Resistance would have an upper hand and self-pity would blurr my vision.

But today, I had showed up to my day, to my life, to my goals and dreams. I had done the preparation. I had set the intention. And I had gotten out of bed one more time to fulfill my dreams. Yes, the video did not get done in the way I had planned. But I did all I could to make it happen. I did what I said I would, put all my effort into the creative process and I showed up. This alone had to be enough. No, I didn't change the world. But once I realized that my success was in showing up, I had accepted what is. I had accepted the present moment. Most importantly, I was happy about it.

This attitude helped me to focus all my attention on what I can do versus what the outcome should be. It helped me to be detached about the outcomes while being more present with the present moment.

This is where detachment flowers into peace of mind. This is where "mistakes" become gifts to share.

I, then, made the above video to share all that transpired during the day and what I had learnt from my experience. That felt good. I had reframed the situation to align with a higher mode of thinking. And I was freed from judgments of success. I was freed from expectations and from results. I was free. And that sense of freedom brought me happiness.

The Goal Achieved Afterall

It so happens that sharing my experience put me in a heightened state of well-being and right after I made the above video, I recorded the video about Deepak's Law of Karma! In the end, I did complete what I set out to do. But it only happened after I had let go of expectations, judgments and attachments!

What an amazing difference it makes to change the way we look at the events of our lives!

I would love to know:

How have you dealt with situations when things do not go as planned and what precious lessons did you bring into your awareness? Share your insights in the comments below because it could be exactly what someone needs and wants to hear. You can make a difference by sharing from your life.

By the way, I send my gratitude to Alberto Restifo for the outstanding landscape image that I used in the thumbnail of this video.

Wishing you oceans of deep mental and emotional peace and prosperity,

Sophia
Helping You Live A Happier Life

PS: In recording this video, I found the inspiration to complete my project - which goes to show that sharing what you learned from your "mistakes" can be the recipe for your healing/success you are seeking.

I am really grateful that you took the time to read this message. Thank you for being part of our Happiness Lovers Family. And if you are not yet a Happiness Lover, join our family now by going here.

What I learnt about life and death from our darling cat friend

Recently, I lost a friend who is very dear to me and I miss him very much.
And many days in the month of June, I have cried a lot because he is no longer with us. But in all the pain of losing a friend, I have received a tremendous gift...a priceless gift that has instilled in me a deep understanding of life and death that will stay with me all my life.

This friend is Mr. Minou, a gorgeous feline who became my fur-baby in April 2014. He was a month shy of his 17th birthday which as you animal-lovers know, is a long life for cats in general. He was fortunate to be loved and adored by a wonderful family in New York City for his first 16 years. We were fortunate to have him in our home for his final retirement year after his original family faced insurmountable challenges and had to look for a loving family to take care of.

He was here to heal us humans and he did that beautifully. With him in our home, we had zero arguments or disagreements between Cristof and myself. Now we remind ourselves by saying, "what would Minou do?" And we would know exactly how to behave. He was never upset with us, always showed his compassionate side and if he did not like something, he simply walked away! What a zen master he was and we remember his teachings as if he was a human zen master. So clear, needing no words!

Wow! what an inspiration.

How to Live With Ease: The Law of Least Effort

The Law of Least Effort

Do you want to live a life of ease?

I am guessing your answer to that question is, "Yes". We all want to be living a life of ease, with ease and flow like everything in Nature seems to be doing.

What would your life look like if it was filled with ease?

Sometimes we have not even taken a moment to reflect on this. So I invite you to think for your life: what would it mean to be in flow, to live with ease? You will amazed at how just reflecting on this question clears up the muddy waters of our lives.

A R D is the way
Our German members of the Happiness Lovers Family may think of ARD, the television broadcasting company. :-) But I am referring to something altogether different! ARD stands for Acceptance, Responsibility and Defenselessness. These are the three principles that make up the Fourth Spiritual Law of Success from the book, "Seven Spiritual Laws of Success" by  Deepak Chopra. And this is a simple way of creating ease in our lives.

I have prepared a 14 minute video for you outlining the main insights from it in this video on the Fourth Law of Least Effort and I think you will get something useful out of it.

Some of the Key Insights that I share in this Video:
- how the act of acceptance can be a launching point for conscious emotion-free action
- the difference between responsibility and blame (and knowing that is so empowering!)
- how defenseless as a way of being makes life easier

I am so happy you are a Joy Person in our Happiness Lovers Family. Thank you for your time and for being uniquely YOU.

Love and harmony,

Sophia
Helping You Live A Happier Life

PS: This edition is part of my seven part series on The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra. If you would like to see the previous three laws just click older post below.

Reach Any Heights: The Law of Intention & Desire

3 Lessons From Deepak Chopra: The Law of Intention & Desire

Here is a question for you to think of. Answer it quickly without thinking much or censoring because whatever comes as a response is fine. 

What is it that you really want in your life?

Take a moment to acknowledge the response that emerges for you.

For me, what I really want is to create a life out of my own design where I can navigate the ocean of life with ease and joy, have plenty of time to do all that I want, feel fulfilled with my contribution to our world, work from anywhere I want and have plenty of time with my husband and cat (and future fur babies) while living comfortably by the beach.

Tell me, in the comments below, your answer to this question because I really want to know what your heart is yearning to create.

Reach Any Heights
Now, what if I told you that inside this desire of yours is everything that you need to make it happen. Because you have that specific desire, you are also equipped with the exact skills, wisdom, strength and any other quality you need to experience that desire in reality. It is already here, within you.

Amazing, right?

Too often, we think struggling and stressing and going crazy over getting things done is the way to make things happen. If a new deal falls through, if a promotion is passed on to someone else, if something happens that is not what we want, we think, "Ah, I will just put 100 more hours into the week where I am already working a 100 hours and that should do it." Or, we think of some other scheme to get what we want or we drop into the stressing-over-it-mode that simply doesn't feel right but we think we have to do it or else....or else we will never get to where we are going. Or so we think.

But does it have to be that way?

Changing the Energy Field
Deepak Chopra in the chapter on the Fifth Law of his book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, says otherwise. It is called The Law of Intention and Desire and he writes:

"You can consciously change the energy and informational content of your own quantum mechanical body, and therefore influence the energy and informational content of your extended body — your environment, your world — and cause things to manifest in it."

This is a very different way of getting things done than the old struggling and stressing! It is all about understanding how our world is structured and how to wisely use that understanding to create what we want, and do it with ease and joy. If you want to know more about how to activate this "way of being", you will love this video on the Fifth Law of Intention and Desire.

Creating Our Desires With Ease
You will love it because in this video, I go deep into the Fifth Law and share a powerful yet simple 5 Step Process for using the Law of Intention and Desire to create what we desire. Of course, we still have to do things out in the world and take actions, but this process helps us to make our lives simpler and helps us manifest what we want with a sense of ease that is very freeing. And I am all about simplicity, ease and joy, so I love that!!

Key insights that I share in this video:
- the quantum nature of our world and what separates human beings from trees (!)
- how we can use the structure of the universe to influence it
- why time is a key element in manifesting our intentions and how understanding the nature of time can give you enormous bolts of energy
- how the quality of our intentions influences the results
- the fast way to dissolve 90% of the obstacles we face (and how we bring present can dissolve the remaining 10%)
- what "accepting things as it is" doesn't mean and what it does
- Deepak's 5 Step Process to manifesting our intentions

So do take a look yourself and watch the video.

And I am looking forward to reading about what you really want to create in your life in the comments below. By doing this, you will already be done with the first step in the 5 Step Process for using the Law of Intentions and Desire.

Thank you for your time and for reading all the way down here and for watching the video. I am happy to have you part of our Happiness Lovers family.

Love and harmony,

Sophia
Helping You Live A Happier Life

3 Lessons From Deepak Chopra: On Detachment

I keep reading in various books on happiness and abundance that to really achieve what we want, we need to be detached. I have wondered about this idea and many questions have come up:

Does being detached mean not setting goals?
Should I not care whether or not my intention actually manifests? But I do care, so how can I be detached?
How can I take the next steps on my way to achieving my goals if I am to be detached.

Have you wondered like I have, what does it actually mean to be detached? And how can I apply it in my life to make my dreams into a reality?

Detachment doesn't mean not caring.
First of all, what I learned is the word detachment has many meanings and in psychology one meaning is the inability to emotionally connect with others. Another meaning is disconnecting emotionally from others in order to protect oneself.

But that is not what is meant by the well-known and prolific author of the book, "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success", Deepak Chopra.

Get your copy on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3FN7Vil (Partnerlink: when you buy the book through this link we receive a commission with no surcharge for you.)

What he means by detachment is the practice and the art of releasing attachment to the end result. So we still make our goals. We still plan and take actions in alignment with our values and priorities. But we focus on what we can do and let go of how something should turn out. This is all encapsulated in a beautiful short chapter called, The Law of Detachment and I made a video about it.

In this video, I share with you:

- What is attachment and how it emerges from the prison of the past.
- The role fear plays in preventing us from being detached.
- How adventurous and exciting it can be to be detached and I share the example of baking a cake.
- Why we are not going for perfection but practicing bit by bit.
- The amazing quote from the book on how we can achieve our dreams with ease.

What I love about this law is that it is all about making things happen by getting out of our way and letting the Universe conspire events in our favor. It doesn't mean not taking action and leaving it up to the Universe, it means being flexible not stubborn and not clinging to our idea of how it should all turn out. When we do that, our intentions become a reality.

This is yet another long video, so get yourself a nice cup of herbal tea or nourishing juice or whatever nourishes you, get comfy and enjoy this video. I shot this video outdoors so there will be helicopter sounds and happy birds singing in the background - for me, that's all part of being detached of how my videos should turn out!

Also, as you noticed this the second video from Chopra's book. There are total of seven laws in the book and I intend to continue making a video on each single law because I feel that the wisdom and practical directions in this book has made an enormous impact on my life. And I believe that my sharing from the book can help you be happier and more fulfilled.

Get your copy on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3FN7Vil (Partnerlink: when you buy the book through this link we receive a commission with no surcharge for you.)

What I would love to know is how you view detachment, how you have have dealt with it or how you practice letting go of attachment to the end results.

I am really grateful that you took the time to read this message. Thank you for being part of our Happiness Lovers Family. And if you are not yet a Happiness Lover, join our family now by going here.

Love and harmony,

Sophia
Helping You Live A Happier Life

PS: Click here to go to the video where I share 3 Lessons from Deepak Chopra's Seventh Law of Dharma or Life Purpose.



 

3 Lessons from Deepak Chopra: On Life Purpose and The Law of Dharma

3 Lessons from Deepak Chopra: On Life Purpose and The Law of Dharma

One of the things that I have struggled with for a long time in my life was the question of life purpose.

What am I here to do?
What is my purpose?
What was I meant to create during this life time?

I felt lost, clueless and without direction.
Forget about purpose and meaning, I didn't even feel happy about the simple pleasures of life. Confused, I have wandered at many different avenues and at each stop, I learned something about my purpose. And this was only a few short years ago.

If I had come upon this book at that time, I know I would have seen a lot of answers pop-up. The book I am referring to is, "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success" written by the well-known and prolific author, Deepak Chopra. More than anything, the book is about living a fulfilled, happy life. It consists of seven laws derived from ancient Vedic texts but one can find parallels in almost every spiritual tradition. The seventh law in this book is a succinct, summarized guide to finding our life's purpose or Dharma.

Essentially, this law says that our purpose is to find our inner-most talents that we enjoy, connect it to serving others and in the doing of it experience the divine.

Straightforward, right? Well...

Too often, we need an intermediary to understand and explore the concepts that are laid out in a book. And I decided that this chapter is so essential that I wanted to share my insights from it with you. So I made a video - around 20 minutes long, which goes deep into just this one chapter of this one book. I know that's long for our busy schedules but it is worth it, if you ever wonder about existential questions like "what is my purpose in life".

Watch the video below where I share 3 Lessons from Deepak Chopra.

In this video, I share with you:

- I share with you how to put into practice the steps laid out for finding our life purpose.
- I will make clear how to find what we are passionate about especially for those who are not sure what they love doing.
- I will share how you can connect the dots when you have found what you love to do and whether it serves others.

Do take a look and let me know in the comments what your main challenge around life purpose has been or what you are currently facing. I will be reading your thoughts, so go ahead and share. You might just offer the missing link to someone on their path looking for answers.

Thank you for being part of our Happiness Lovers Family. And if you are not yet a Happiness Lover, join our family now by going here.

Lots of love,

Sophia
Helping You Live A Happier Life

PS: If you have questions that I could answer in one of my future videos around this subject of finding and living one's life purpose, go ahead and write it in the comments.

How To Turn An Obstacle Into A Meaningful Opportunity

When you are faced with an obstacle or a challenge in life, you can find an opportunity in it and come out of the challenge even stronger. In this video, I share with three steps you can take to make this happen.

Key Insights:
-Our perspective is the key to how we experience life.
-By choosing to see the positive elements/ the gift in an obstacle, we have instantly shifted our perspective and our experience of that obstacle into an opportunity.
-By focusing on the action, specifically what positive actions we can take, we can move into transforming the challenge into something meaningful.

In the comments below, I invite you to share your insights on dealing with an obstacle. Your words here could change someone's life and bring you healing in the sharing of it. So go ahead and make your voice known.

Thank you and peace,

Sophia

I have created a Happiness Lover's Family. You can become part of our virtual family and receive free tips and update on the best Happiness Practices picked from modern science and ancient wisdom. Go here to join.

A secret that will help you shift from resisting to accepting

With Cristof Ensslin

My husband, Cristof Ensslin is a power house of wisdom and inspiration and a big part of my journey from a downward cycle to a rich, happy, uplifting life. I am amazed how he handles things in his life with grace and compassion. So I asked him how he deals with some of the challenging moments, especially that of loss. Listen to this video in which he shares the power of allowing the emotion: truly a big key to moving through the challenge.

Please please share with us how you deal with a specifically difficult moment such as a loss of a loved one. It could change someone's life.

And if you want to be part of our brand new Happiness Lovers Family go here to join in and receive free tips and tools to live a more enriching and happier life.

Peace,
Sophia

How to Keep Your Cool in the Face of Challenges

With Asmita Barua and Voahirana Rakotonaivo

I write and speak in my blogs and videos about ways we can live a happier life. Then there are moments when things get really tough and it becomes a challenge to stay on our positive track. Recently, I had the chance to speak with two of my awesome friends who are also my former colleagues from the time I worked at the United Nations. And I asked them how do they keep cool during challenging times. This is what they had to say:

Have you any tips of how you handle the tough days? Please share in the comments below. What you say and share could be life-changing to someone who reads it down the road. So go ahead and share.

And if you want to be part of our brand new Happiness Lovers Family go here to join in and receive free tips and tools to live a more enriching and happier life.

Love,
Sophia

Happiness Lovers Family: Welcome! Introduce Yourself

Hey New Happiness Lover!

Welcome to the family. At Reflection Pond, we call each other either a Happiness Lover or Lovely Joy Person. Feel free to start using these terms of endearment. This helps us to feel part of a family.

Now, introduce yourself. In the comments below, share with us:
1. Where you are from and where you live currently.
2. Share with me your #1 thing you are grateful for.
3. Your #1 challenge in leading a happy life.

I also invite you to read the other family member's comments and respond to them. This is for you.

If you want to be part of the Happiness Lover Family and are not yet, go here to join us today. It is free.
 

The Focusing Question: How to transform your overflowing schedule

...into one of ease.

As the year comes to a close, I look back at all the projects and activities I have undertaken. I am filled with satisfaction for the personal and business goals that I have worked towards. But I also have this feeling that as Fall rolled in, things got a little out of hand and I was drowning in work and commitments.

Did you have that experience?

As this realization set in, I asked myself how I could streamline my work and life so that I can truly accomplish my goals without getting lost in the hustle-bustle of life.

And thankfully, I received my answer and I have already begun implementing it. And it starts with one question.

Watch this video to learn about this one question that has helped me ease my workload while up-leveling my productivity. And it has a huge potential to help you.

Click the links below to learn more
1. The One Thing by Gary Keller with Jay Papasan
2. The Success Principles by Jack Canfield

Plus, last month's Live Video Event, "Happiness Intention" was amazing with wonderful interaction from the audience. We also chose 2 lucky winners for my Happiness Coaching session: Michael S. and Irene S.C. (Yes, we had only announced that we would giveaway 1 session but I spontaneously decided to giveaway another! Yayy!)

Our next Live Event, "The Gratitude Way" on December 28th, 4pm Eastern. A wonderful way to close the year! So do join in!

Till then, watch this video.

Sending you love and blessings,

Sophia
Helping You Live A Happier Life

Listening to Your Inner Voice with Stillness

Last month, Renée Konan, an entrepreneur and also a former colleague during my time at the United Nations in New York, shared with some wisdom nuggets. I called her up on skype and recorded our conversation which is filled with laughs and giggles. She speaks with so much ease and confidence about listening to our inner wisdom and makes it simple to do.

So take a watch and enjoy this jubilant personality, Ms. Renée Konan. And share in the comments below how do you listen to your inner-guidance and intuitive nudges?

How I Dealt With Someone's Words That Were Hurtful

(plus, how you can stay peaceful in such a situation)

You consider yourself a positive person, generally upbeat about life. You focus on your work, are kind to people and work towards making a contribution to this world. But then, someone says something that just throws you off your positive-horse, so to speak.

Does this happen to you? I just experienced this.

In this video, I share with you how I dealt with just such a situation and also the positive nuggets that I learned which  can help you stay happy and peaceful when facing something similar.

Plus, I have just put into place my new studio set, right in my living room and I loooove it. With new lights, filters and camera stand, the video quality just went up a few notches. Have a look yourself!

And this month, we will have a special Live Video Event, "Happiness Intention" to explore simple, practical ways you can boost your quality of life, daily. So look out for an invite for that coming soon.

Lots of love to you,

Sophia
Helping You Live A Happier & Simplified Life

PS: Do let me know how you deal with hurtful words from someone in the comments below.

How To Be Content, Right Now?

You know, I have been looking and searching for the last six years for specific answers to questions that so many of us face. And I am fortunate that teachers have come into my life at exactly the right time, teaching me just what I needed to know in that moment.

When I do learn something I want to begin implementing it right away and sharing it right away.

And I made a video for you that I think will be very useful if you are thinking about questions around contentment.

In last month's post, I shared with you my thoughts on how to create happiness every day. I introduced the idea of generating happiness and making a decision to commit to being happy. Today, I want to share with you a bigger theme: contentment.

Being happy when things in life are smooth sailing is one thing, but how to go deeper than that? How to be content with life despite hardships, despite challenges? Is it even possible?

The answer, of course, is "Yes".

It may be a black-belt, ninja-level, yogi-on-the-mountain-top-level master skill. But I believe it is DO-ABLE.

In the video below, I share with you what I have learned about being content right in this moment, no matter what is going on in our lives.

Do watch it and share with me in the comments, your biggest frustration with being content on a daily basis.

Peace and love to you,

Sophia
Helping you live happier and simpler life.

PS: Want to see us Live? Cristof and I will be going online Live for a new visualization meditation evening.  Join us! October 14, Tuesday, 7pm Eastern