Stop Trying to Change Your Life

The one shift that actually works isn’t about doing more. It’s about winning the inner game first.

Photo by Ashley Batz on Unsplash

First published on Medium

Let’s get straight to the heart of it.

You’ve probably tried to change your life from the outside in.

You set a goal. You hustle. You rearrange the external circumstances, hoping it will finally make you feel the way you want to feel.

It’s like rearranging the furniture in a burning house.

I (Cristof) was doing this for years. Until a simple moment on a gym bench — and a line from a movie — showed me the only way that actually works.

I was at a raffle, losing. My number wasn’t called. Again and again.

And I felt myself slump into the old story: “I guess I just don’t win these things.”

I was embodying “Someone Who Doesn’t Win.” And my reality was complying.

But right then, I made a choice. I initiated an identity shift.

I sat up straight. I smiled. I celebrated the others as if I were a winner who knew my turn was coming.

I didn’t just act like a winner. I felt like one.

The very next drawing? My number was called.

Then it was called again. And again. I won three times.

The prizes were small, but the lesson was everything: Your external world is a lagging indicator of your internal identity.

This is what Neville Goddard meant, in The Power of Awareness (affiliate link to book), when he said the truth that sets you free is to

“experience in imagination what you desire to experience in reality.”

And it’s what Coach Carter, in the movie Coach Carter (affiliate link to movie), played by Samuel L. Jackson, meant by:

“Winning in here is the key to winning out there.”

“Winning in here” has nothing to do with a basketball court. It’s about the inner court of your mind.

Most people get this wrong in one of two ways:

1. They are clear on the what, but fuzzy on the who.
   They know they want $10,000 a month, but they haven’t become the person who has and earns that with ease. That person is calm, confident, and sees themselves as a high-value creator. Who must you be?

2. They understand the concept, but skip the feeling.
   They visualize the goal, but they don’t live in the feeling of the wish fulfilled. They daydream about the future instead of reliving the present fact.

Your only job is to assume the feeling. Persist in it. When the old “losing streak” appears, ignore the echo.

The shift happens now. In here.

Then, and only then, does the world out there have no choice but to conform.

P.S. This is the exact work we do every day in our free Skool community, Shift Your Identity (SYI). It’s not just a group; it’s a living practice where we support each other in making these shifts permanent. If you’re ready to stop rearranging furniture and put out the fire for good, you belong with us.
Join the free SYI Community Here

The Yoga Studio That Overcharged Me Taught Me Neville Goddard’s Real Secret

I was trying to “manifest” a refund. What I got instead was a masterclass in the one law that changes everything.

Photo by Ginny Rose Stewart on Unsplash

First published on Medium

You know that feeling when you get caught by a fine print you never saw coming?

I (Sophia) was three weeks into a “1-Month Trial” at a local yoga studio. Life happened — I got sick, my fitness goals shifted — so I politely emailed them. “Hey, can you cancel my renewal for next month? Thanks for the great classes!”

Their reply was a gut punch.

“Per our policy, we require a 30-day written notice to cancel.”

I read it twice. A 30-day notice for a one-month trial? To cancel a subscription I didn’t even want to continue, I would have had to notify them on day one.

I felt that hot rush of injustice. Disrespected. Cheated. It wasn’t even about the hundred-ish dollars; it was the principle. The “how dare they” story lit up in my mind like a neon sign.

My first instinct was to fight. My second, as a teacher of manifestation and the power of the mind, was to manifest. I visualized the refund. I affirmed “the studio is generous and understanding.” I tried to bend reality to my will.

And nothing happened.

The renewal date came, and the charge hit my account. My manifestation felt like a dud.

That’s when I remembered a line from Neville Goddard’s The Power of Awareness that I’d been teaching just days before:

“Man’s chief delusion is his conviction that there are causes other than his own state of consciousness.”

Ouch.

I had been seeing the yoga studio as the “cause” of my problem. But Neville states, bluntly, that this is a delusion. The real cause was my own state of consciousness. I was the common denominator in this story.

This is where I learned the critical difference between manifesting and identity shifting.

• Manifesting (the way I was doing it) was like sending out a wishlist to the universe: “I want them to be fair.” It comes from a place of lack.

• Identity Shifting, as Neville teaches, is becoming the person for whom the solution is already true. It comes from a place of assumption.

Neville defines assumption as “a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.”

So, I stopped trying to get a refund.

I became the person who was already treated with fairness and respect by the businesses they engage with.

But here’s the part I never understood until that moment. This isn’t just a mental exercise. This new state of consciousness requires integrating the second meaning of the word, “assumption” which is the “act of taking on power or responsibility.”

And responsibility, I realized, isn’t about blame. It’s about response-ability. The ability to respond to your reality by first looking within.

A question surfaced from a place of deep knowing, one that changed everything:

“Where have I not kept my own promises?”

The answer came instantly, clear and cringe-worthy.

Months prior, I had launched a digital course. I had delivered all the core content, but one promotional bonus — a juicy, hour-long video — had fallen through the cracks. I’d never sent it. It was a “small” thing, not critical to the course, but a promise was a promise. I had, in essence, hidden my own “fine print” from my students.

The yoga studio was holding up a mirror, and I finally had the courage to look.

I didn’t meditate harder on the refund. I didn’t do another visualization. I sat down at my computer and spent the next two hours creating that forgotten bonus video. I finished it, uploaded it, and sent a heartfelt email to every student who had purchased that course, apologizing for the delay and granting them lifetime access.

The moment I hit “send,” a profound feeling of lightness washed over me. The internal knot of conflict was gone. The work was done. I had cleaned up my side of the street. I had aligned my 3D reality with my new assumption of integrity. I completely forgot about the yoga studio.

The next day, I checked my messages on autopilot. There it was. A new email from the studio.

They apologized for the “confusion,” stated they valued me as a potential future member, and had processed a full refund.

My jaw dropped. “Oh my god, it actually happened?”

This wasn’t the Universe rewarding me for being “good.” It was the natural, inevitable result of a change in consciousness. As Neville says:

“If this assumption is persisted in until it becomes your dominant feeling, the attainment of your ideal is inevitable.”

I had shifted my dominant feeling from “aggrieved customer” to “integrity-driven business owner,” and the 3D world had no choice but to reflect it back.

The One Practical Takeaway You Can Use Today

The secret isn’t just thinking “I am” thoughts. It’s taking 100% responsibility for the reality those thoughts create.

If you’re facing a recurring problem — a lack of clients, difficult relationships, financial strain — ask yourself this powerful question:

“What have I done in the past that is the essence of what is happening to me now?”

Then, go fix it.

• Can you deliver on that forgotten promise?

• Can you pay that small, overlooked debt?

• Can you offer a genuine apology where one is due?

If you can’t reach the original person, perform a symbolic act. Find someone else in a similar situation and help them. Dedicate the deed to healing the original karmic seed.

This is how you “assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled.” You become the person of integrity, and the world of integrity finds you.

This path of Identity Shifting is the most powerful thing you will ever do, but let’s be real: it can also be the most challenging. The concept of 100% responsibility is a massive pill to swallow, especially when you’re just starting out.

You don’t have to do it alone.

If this story resonated with you, if you’re ready to be encouraged and held accountable as you step into your most powerful self, come and join our free Skool community, Shift Your Identity (SYI).

It’s a supportive space where we move beyond theory and into practice, helping each other clean up our 3D realities and consciously create the lives we’re meant to live. No prior knowledge or understanding required.

Click here to join Shift Your Identity (SYI) for free.

The power to assume a new life is your birthright. Let’s claim it, together.

Have You Taken a Pause That Changed Everything?

Life doesn’t slow down just because you want it to.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

First published on Medium

Let’s be honest.

Life doesn’t slow down just because you want it to.

For years, I was racing. Twelve-hour days. Screens lighting my face. Chasing the next deal, the next project, the next “win.”

I thought that’s what success looked like.

But at some point… I realized I wasn’t living. I was hustling.

Then life made me stop.

Stage 1: You feel the shift coming, but don’t know how to pause.

For me, it was a hurricane. Hurricane Helene. We had to evacuate. Nature itself paused.

And suddenly… I heard it. That quiet whisper I’d been ignoring:

“What if you stopped?”

Not just for a moment. But deeply.

I had spent years defining myself by performance. By output. By doing.

But in that pause, I realized how empty all the chasing had become.

Stage 2: You try to pause, but old habits scream.

During evacuation, a friend offered me a trading project. My reflex said yes. My people-pleaser said yes.

But my heart whispered: no.

For the first time, I actually listened. Saying no wasn’t rejecting opportunity — it was reclaiming sanity.

That was the first sacred pause I ever took.

Stage 3: You’re ready to make the pause your practice.

After that, I began experimenting. Sometimes just three minutes a day. Breathing. Sitting. Listening.

Writing. Healing. Healing through writing.

And something shifted. My life reorganized itself.

I discovered: peace doesn’t come from controlling life. It comes from being fully present. It comes from uncovering layers of conditioned habits, one at a time.

Prayer is speaking. Meditation is listening. Why not do both?

Creation becomes a conversation — a two-way flow.

The Antidote to Hustle

Every morning, I ask myself:

“What is one thing that is sacred to me today?”

It rewired my life. Turned productivity into purpose. Made peace my portfolio.

I work differently now. I show up differently. I serve from overflow instead of stress.

Your turn

Pause isn’t about stopping the world. It’s about finding your center inside it.

Take a moment today. Breathe. Ask:

What is one thing that is sacred to me today? How can I honor or protect it?

Hold it. Breathe into it. Let it guide your actions today.

If this resonates… know you’re not alone.

We’re building a space called Shift Your Identity for people who want to live from peace, not pressure; from purpose, not hustle.

It’s where we explore, reflect, and support each other in creating lives that align with our deepest truth.

Because peace isn’t a luxury. It’s your birthright. And the pause? That’s how you reclaim it.

With alignment, 
Cristof

The Two Blocks that Keep Money from Finding You

The struggle to attract more money, clients, and opportunities… it’s rarely about the strategy.

Photo by Ben Sweet on Unsplash

First published on Medium

Let’s get straight to the heart of it.

The struggle to attract more money, clients, and opportunities… it’s rarely about the strategy.

It’s almost always about your identity.

You can hustle, you can manifest, you can visualize — but if your identity is rooted in lack, reality will conform to that.

Something tells me you know this already.

You’re someone who creates, who has a vision, but feels an invisible ceiling on your income and impact.

If that’s true, you’re likely facing one of two hidden blocks.

We built both of these walls ourselves. And it took a simple conversation on a drive to the grocery store to see them clearly.

See which one feels more familiar.

Block 1: The Comparison Trap (Cristof’s Story)

You see other creators, solopreneurs, and authors succeeding, and instead of feeling inspired, you feel a gut-punch of self-doubt.

“Why them and not me?”
“What’s their secret?”
“I’ll never get there.”

You’re measuring your Chapter 1 against their Chapter 20.

This isn’t just jealousy. It’s a form of energetic repulsion.

By focusing on your lack, you broadcast a signal of scarcity. You become un-coachable, closed off to the very inspiration that could move you forward.

What you need isn’t another tactic.
You need to dissolve the identity that feels “behind.”

Block 2: The Imposter Syndrome Freeze (Sophia’s Story)

You get a nudge to create something, reach out for a collaboration, or raise your prices… and a voice freezes you.

“Who am I to do this?”
“I’m not an expert yet.”
“I need to be more ready.”

You hold yourself back, believing you need a perfect result before you can even begin.

This isn’t humility. It’s a cleverly disguised form of self-sabotage.

By refusing to put yourself out there, you ensure you’ll never become the person you want to be. You repel opportunity by refusing to open the door.

What you need isn’t more credentials.
You need the identity of a “contributor,” not a “guru.”

The shift out of these blocks isn’t another technique.

It’s a single, powerful question that we now live by. It’s the bridge between your current self and your money magnet self.

“What would the version of me who is already a money magnet do right now?”

This question bypasses the logic of your current circumstances. It pulls the energy, decisions, and actions of your future self into the present.

• Would that version of you scroll mindlessly, or write 500 words?

• Would they gossip about a competitor, or send a congratulatory message?

• Would they hide their work, or hit “publish”?

This is the core of the work we do at Simple and Aligned.

We guide you through these precise identity shifts. We give you the mindsets and the simple, aligned actions to stop chasing and start being the person money, clients, and opportunities are naturally drawn to.

If you’re ready to move from manifesting to embodying, this is your space.

Click here to join the Simple and Aligned newsletter.

We don’t just teach this because it’s a philosophy.

We teach it because we’ve lived it. We were right where you are, building those same walls.

As always, remember:

Stop chasing. Start being.

— Sophia & Cristof

My Dad Asked How I’ll “Fill the Fridge.” Here’s a Better Question.

A quote from Star Trek and a painful phone call showed me we’re asking the wrong question about our work, our lives, and our purpose.

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

You know the question. You’ve heard it from a parent, a friend, or the nagging voice in your own head at 3 a.m.

“So… how are you going to fill the fridge?”

It’s a question born of love and concern, rooted in a world where survival is the baseline. I (Cristof) got it from my dad just this morning. He was congratulating me on our new newsletter before deftly pivoting to the critique: “The only thing that’s not clear to me is how are you going to fill the fridge?”

He’s not wrong. But the question itself is the problem.

It had me thinking about a quote I’d just read in Rainn Wilson’s book, Soul Boom (affiliate link). On page 16, he quotes Captain Picard from Star Trek:

“Money doesn’t exist in the 24th century. The acquisition of wealth is no longer the driving force in our lives. We work to better ourselves and the rest of humanity.”

When I read that, I didn’t feel a sci-fi fantasy. I felt a deep, resonant longing. Not for a world without money, but for a world where our driving force has fundamentally shifted.

Look at the immense dissatisfaction, the lack of meaning, the rising depression and suicide rates in the most “developed” countries. It’s a screaming signal that more wealth only matters to a certain point. Beyond that, it’s empty calories for the soul.

I know this because I’ve eaten those calories. I’ve been in the high-paying world of investment banking and capital markets advisory. It was absolutely soul-sucking. I knew if I stayed on that path, focusing only on maximizing my income, I would be dead in 10, 15, or 20 years. Maybe not physically, but emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. I’d be a ghost in a gold-plated cage.

So, we made a choice.

(Sophia here.) Let me paint a picture of that choice. Around 2012, Cristof joined a folk-rock band touring the US Southeast. We lived under the poverty line. We didn’t own a cell phone. We lived in a 450-square-foot apartment and shared one car. A croissant at Starbucks was a luxury we actively calculated against our rent.

When our cat got sick, we took on a $4,000 credit card loan for her surgery. That was our reality.

Make no mistake, we are not glorifying having less or making poverty a virtue.

But here’s the secret no one tells you: we weren’t miserable.

We aspired for more but didn’t feel poor. We felt purposeful. We were living a life of our choosing. We could have gone back to six-figure jobs, but we consciously chose a different path. The music Cristof was creating, the meditation videos I was making — it felt transformative. We were giving value, and that provided a sense of contentment no paycheck had ever matched.

We weren’t “Wealth-Acquirers.” We were becoming “Value-Givers.”

And that is the identity shift that changes everything.

The Identity Shift: From “Wealth-Acquirer” to “Value-Giver”

The old paradigm forces you to ask: “What do I need to DO to earn money?” This question puts you in a constant state of lack and chasing. You are always behind, always trying to extract from the world in order to…

fill your fridge, 
fill your house, 
fill your bank account.

The new paradigm, the one that Picard hinted at and we’ve lived, starts with a different identity: “I am a Value-Giver.”

The core belief is this:

I am a person who gives value and thrives financially, emotionally, and spiritually. My thriving is directly proportionate to me giving my true, authentic self. The more I give, the more I receive.

This isn’t spiritual bypassing. We live in a society that requires money. The goal isn’t to become a monk or nun who renounces money (unless that’s your calling!). The goal is to flip the equation.

Instead of doing things to get money, you focus on giving immense value, and you learn to monetize that value in an aligned, integral way. When you do this, the money that follows feels like a natural byproduct of your service, not the grim reward for your soul’s surrender.

Your work becomes like that of a monk or nun — you are taking care of a core need (spiritual, creative, transformational) for your community, and the community, in turn, supports you. It’s a virtuous cycle. It’s no wonder studies often find clergy among the happiest of professionals. They live in the flow of giving and receiving.

Your Simple & Aligned Starter Kit to Become a Value-Giver

This shift starts in the mind long before it manifests in the bank account. Here are two simple practices we use daily to cement this new identity.

1. The Daily Value Question (From Cristof)

Every morning, I journal the answer to this one question:

“What’s one thing I can do today to be of service to others?”

I just jot down whatever comes through my stream of consciousness. It takes not even two minutes. This isn’t about crafting a business plan; it’s about setting a daily intention. It immediately orients your brain away from “what can I get?” and toward “what can I give?” The answers can be as simple as “send that encouraging email to a fellow creator” or “finally write that post that’s been on my heart.”

2. The 3–6–9 Abundance Alignment

This is a powerful method to reprogram your subconscious and connect your authentic gifts with financial abundance.

First, craft your new identity statement, such as “I am a person who gives value and thrives financially, emotionally, and spiritually,” see the core belief above. Then repeat it throughout the day, saying it out loud:

• 3 times over breakfast

• 6 times after lunch

• 9 times just before bed.

3. Bridge the Gap with “What If?” (From Sophia)

This final journaling prompt is where the magic happens, building a neural bridge between your authentic desires and your abundant future. This is how we shatter the myth that giving your gifts and building wealth are mutually exclusive.

The journaling prompt is:

“What if my life was filled with financial abundance by expressing the gifts that are wanting to come through me? What is it that I truly want to express in this world, knowing that me doing so is my most expansive, abundant expression — financially and spiritually?”

This exercise isn’t about begging the universe for a check. It’s about building a neural bridge between your deepest, most authentic joy and the belief that it deserves and can create abundance.

The Journey Ahead

This journey from the “soul-suck” of chasing money to the fulfillment of being a Value-Giver isn’t a random event. Sophia has actually mapped out the exact spiritual and psychological process for how this shift happens, which we call The Bridge to Your Next Self. We’ll be diving deep into that framework in one of our next pieces.

It all starts by changing the question you ask yourself. Stop asking, “How will I fill the fridge?”

Start asking, “How can I fill my soul by filling the souls of others?”

The fridge (and other forms of bounty), I promise you, will follow.

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If this resonated with you, you’re our people. We explore the power of mind, manifesting, and identity shifting every week in our free Simple & Aligned newsletter. It’s where we share our raw journeys, practical tips, and insights. It’s about building a life and business that feels good, from the inside out.

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How I Climbed to a $100k Year by First Changing My Identity

Spoiler alert: it’s not about hustling harder — but about becoming the person who already has what you want.

Photo by NEOM on Unsplash

Disclosure: This article links book titles to their Amazon.com listings using affiliate links. If you choose to click them and make a purchase, we may earn a small commission.

Struggling to hit your income goals? Discover the 3-phase mindset shift that helped me reach my first $100k year.

I (Sophia) was a web designer who knew her craft but didn’t know her worth. 

My goals were vague — “be successful,” “make more money.” My calendar was packed with small, underpaying projects that left me exhausted and financially stagnant. I was chasing a revenue number, but I was running in place.

The breakthrough didn’t come from a new marketing tactic or a louder hustle. It arrived when I finally understood a simple, profound truth: You don’t attract what you want; you attract what you are.

Reaching my first $100k year in 2022 wasn’t about doing more. It was about becoming more. It was an identity overhaul, a systematic rewiring of my subconscious mind using ten powerful mindset shifts.

But ten shifts can feel overwhelming. I learned they only work when applied in sequence, like building a house. You can’t put up the walls before you pour the foundation.

This is the exact three-phase framework I used to climb from overwhelm to aligned abundance. This is the ladder I built to reach $100k.

Phase 1: The Foundation — Clear the Internal Blocks

Goal: Shift from an identity of “scarcity and limitation” to one of “clarity and self-worth.”

You can’t build a new identity on a cracked foundation. Before I could earn more, I had to become someone who was ready to receive it. This meant doing the deep, often uncomfortable internal work first.

• Shift #1: Uncover Your Money Blocks. I started by journaling on the messages I inherited about money. Did I believe it was scarce? That rich people were unethical? That I wasn’t good with numbers? I discovered my blocks were rooted in old stories that weren’t even mine. As I learned from Denise Duffield-Thomas in her incredible Money Bootcamp, the course power-charging her bestselling book Get Rich, Lucky B*tch!, simply bringing these blocks into the light robs them of their power. You can’t change what you won’t acknowledge.

• Shift #2: Declutter Your Space. This was my physical act of defiance against scarcity. I cleaned my office, organized my digital files, and let go of clothes that no longer fit the woman I was becoming. As Fumio Sasaki writes in his liberating book, Goodbye, Things, decluttering isn’t about perfection; it’s about making space for new energy to flow. It was a powerful signal to my brain: “We are making room for abundance.”

• Shift #3: Affirmations. With a clearer space and mind, I began imprinting my new blueprint. I wrote, “I am a six-figure web designer,” 15 times a day, a technique I adapted from Suze Orman (see for example her classic The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom). At first, it felt like a lie. But I understood the assignment: repetition builds new neural pathways. I wasn’t affirming my current reality; I was programming my future one.

Phase 2: Vision — Define Your New Reality

Goal: Shift from “dreaming” to “knowing.” Embody the identity of someone with clear goals.

With a solid foundation, I could now build a detailed vision. A vague dream is a wish; a specific plan is a command to your subconscious.

• Shift #4: Get Super Clear on Your Revenue Goal. “More money” became “$100,000 this year.” Then I broke it down into monthly targets. This specificity stopped the ambiguity and gave my mind a clear target to hit.

• Shift #5: Get Clear on How Much Your Dream Costs. This exercise, inspired by Rachel Rodgers and her millionaire-making book, We Should All Be Millionaires, made my goal emotional. I calculated the cost of my dream life — travel, investments, lifestyle. The number stopped being scary and started being motivating. It became the why behind the what.

• Shift #6: Be Your Future Self Now & Shift #7: Create a Congratulations Scene. This was the quantum leap. I stopped visualizing my success as a future event. I started embodying the successful version of me now. I asked myself, “How does the $100k version of Sophia feel? How does she talk to clients? What does she do on a Tuesday?” I followed Dr. Benjamin Hardy’s advice in Be Your Future Self Now and made decisions from that future place. I even used Neville Goddard’s technique from The Power of Awareness, crafting a brief scene where a friend congratulated me on my incredible year. I fell asleep feeling the feeling of accomplishment.

• Shift #8: What Kind of Business Do You Really Want? I defined my ideal client, my ideal projects, and my ideal workweek. This ensured my $100k goal was built on alignment, not just grinding. With the guidance of my coach, I was designing a business that served my life, not the other way around. 

Phase 3: Embodiment — Live in the Flow

Goal: Shift from “striving” to “allowing.” Embody the identity of someone to whom money flows easily.

The final phase was about releasing the desperate energy of chasing and stepping into the calm confidence of receiving.

• Shift #9: “Dollars Want Me”. This mantra from Henry Harrison Brown’s classic, Dollars Want Me, felt silly at first. What does it even mean, “dollars want me?” But it completely flipped my energy. Instead of “I need to get this client,” my mindset became “I wonder if this project is a good fit?” I went into calls knowing money is coming my way, some way or the other — whether with this client or another, and that there are plenty of clients for me. This shift alone changed my closing rate dramatically. (By the way: this is not about becoming arrogant and thinking “I don’t need this”; but rather about becoming detached from a specific client and becoming more relaxed while conducting business and trusting in the process.)

• Shift #10: Make an Identity Shift. This is the culmination. It’s the deep, internal knowing. I wasn’t trying to be a successful web designer; I was one. Just like I don’t try to be my name, I just am. This identity, solidified by all the previous shifts, became my new operating system. The revenue, the clients, the opportunities — they were just the natural output.

The Aligned Result

The $100k wasn’t even the best part. The best part was who I became in the process: a woman who trusts herself, knows her value, and operates from a place of abundance, not scarcity. The money was simply proof of the internal change.

If you’re ready to start your own journey, we’d love to guide you. Get our free guide, ‘10 Mindset Shifts’, the moment you join our weekly Simple & Aligned newsletter. Each week, we send a powerful affirmation, a wisdom nugget from a bestseller, and a practical step to build your aligned abundance — just like we did in this article.

Download your free guide here (look for Guide #5 on the Thank You page right after signing up for the free newsletter)

It’s time to build your abundance ladder.