Your Brain Is Angry. It’s Time to Feed It a Cookie.

How a bizarre lesson from Rainn Wilson and Gandhi is saving my creative soul.

Photo by Vyshnavi Bisani on Unsplash

You know the feeling.

You’re cruising along, your mind buzzing with a new article idea or a solution to a client’s problem. You’re happy. The creative flow is humming.

Then, it happens. Someone cuts you off in traffic, their middle finger a stark punctuation to their anger. Or, an email pings in — a terse, unkind message from a collaborator or client.

In a flash, the flow is gone. Replaced by a hot, sharp anger.

This was my (Cristof) default state. My internal monologue would kick in, a cocktail of self-righteous judgment and cynical ridicule: “I’m such a good driver. I went at the speed limit. What a jerk. And for what? We’re both just going to end up at the same red light anyway.”

It felt justified. It felt normal. But I never stopped to calculate the real cost.

That anger wasn’t just a passing emotion. It was a toxin. It would seep into my body, making my knees tense, my shoulders tight, and my stomach churn. With a sick body and a mind buzzing with negativity, I couldn’t create. I couldn’t write. I’d try to sit down at my desk, but the words wouldn’t come. If I had to produce work, it was subpar, forced, and misaligned. The entire cycle would then spiral into frustration and self-doubt.

It was costing me my peace, my productivity, and my power.

The turning point came from an unexpected place: Rainn Wilson’s book, Soul Boom (affiliate link). In it, he writes:

“We all know someone who is rude, selfish, unkind, toxic. We do our best to avoid people like this. But what if we tried instead to consciously find one good quality about that person? For instance, what if they are a total jerk in every way but have great hygiene and always smell like freshly baked chocolate chip cookies? When I’m able to consciously focus on the good quality of a person, not only is my day better but my relationship with that person improves. And eventually, other good qualities are revealed to me that I might not have taken the time to see previously.

In other words, focus on the cookies. and don’t focus on the negative.”

He then quotes Gandhi, one of the grand masters of humility:

“I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won’t presume to probe into the faults of others.”

“Focus on the cookies.” The phrase stopped me. It was so simple, so visual, so… absurd. But it pointed to a profound truth I had been missing.

For all my life, I thought the solution was to simply stop being angry. To suppress it. To let it go. But you can’t reliably power down a reaction with willpower alone. The real shift, I discovered, isn’t about managing your reactions.

It’s about shifting your identity.

The Person Who Finds the Cookies

I realized that “focusing on the cookies” wasn’t a behavior hack. It was an identity. I had to stop trying to be less angry and start becoming the kind of person who, by their very nature, doesn’t get derailed by external circumstances.

I asked myself: Who would I have to become for a rude driver or a difficult email to not be an issue at all?

The answer painted a clear picture. This version of me is:

1. Self-Reflecting: They look inward before casting outward judgment.

2. Unaffected by Circumstances: They don’t take their emotional cues from other people’s bad behavior.

3. Compassionate: They operate from a default assumption of goodness, or at the very least, a default assumption that everyone is fighting a hard battle.

This is the core of manifestation and identity shifting. You don’t wait until you feel like that person to act. You act as if you are that person, and the feelings follow.

When the world gets loud, this identity whispers:

“I am not taking my cues from current circumstances. These circumstances are only the result of my past mind states. My current mind state produces my future circumstances. And I’m not letting anybody decide over my mind states. Every thought counts. Every thought matters.”

Your 30-Second Identity Shift Drill

This isn’t just philosophy. It’s a practical drill you can use the very next time you’re triggered. It takes less than 30 seconds and has two simple steps.

The moment you feel that hot surge of judgmental anger, pause. Take one breath, and repeat this twofold mantra to yourself:

1. Step One: Detach. Say: “I do not take cues from my circumstances.”
   This is the emergency brake. It stops the mental train from hurtling down the familiar track of rage and ridicule. It reclaims your sovereignty.

2. Step Two: Shift. Ask: “Who do I have to become for whom this wouldn’t be an issue at all?”
   This is the rocket fuel. It instantly moves you from a state of reaction to a state of creation. You are no longer a victim of the event; you are the conscious architect of your response. You are putting on the cloak of your highest self.

Then, and only then, look for the cookie. Maybe it’s the fact their car is impeccably clean. (And only decent people keep their cars clean, right?) Maybe it’s Sophia’s wonderful method of assuming their loved one is giving birth and they need to rush to the hospital. (Since we’re the ones dictating our mental narrative, we might as well make it a good one.)

The “cookie” is the proof that your identity shift is working.

The Ripple Effect on Your Creative Life

When you become the person who finds the cookies, you aren’t just being nice. You are engaging in the most strategic act of self-preservation a creator, solopreneur, freelancer, or really anyone can do.

You are protecting your most valuable asset: your aligned, creative energy. You are ensuring that a single moment of external chaos doesn’t derail your entire day’s work. You are, quite literally, building the future you want by consciously choosing the mind state that will create it.

Every thought counts. Every thought matters. So choose to find the cookie. Your peace, your power, and your next breakthrough depend on it.

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The Sacred Pause: The Solopreneur’s Antidote to Burnout

How a simple question from Rainn Wilson’s “Soul Boom” helped me replace hustle with holiness and build a business that doesn’t cost me my peace.

Photo by Frank Leuderalbert on Unsplash

You know the feeling. It’s 3:17 PM on a Tuesday. Your to-do list is a tyrant, your inbox is a bottomless pit, and the glow of your screen feels more like a prison spotlight than a gateway to freedom. You’re chasing client work, algorithm updates, and revenue goals with a frantic energy that, deep down, feels hollow.

You started this journey to build a life of purpose. But somewhere along the way, the purpose got buried under the productivity. The meaning got lost in the metrics.

I (Cristof) was deep in this exact grind. As a freelance programmer, my worth was measured in billable hours and completed projects. I stacked them high, convinced that maximizing my income potential was the ultimate goal. The result? I was a husk. Stressed, burned out, and painfully disconnected. The romantic dates with my wife? A forgotten concept. Quiet moments with my cats? A luxury. My morning meditation? The first thing sacrificed on the altar of "busyness."

I had traded my inner peace for outer progress, and it was the worst bargain I’d ever made. I was doing all this work for my family, but in the process, I had become completely absent from my family. I was building a business to create freedom, but I had become a slave to it.

Then, I read a paragraph in Rainn Wilson’s book, Soul Boom (affiliate-link), that stopped me cold. It was a simple invitation—a plea, really—amidst a chapter on meaning. He asks:

“Please take five minutes to consider… What is holy to you personally? Where does sacredness live? What should be sacred to all of humanity? What is most definitely not sacred? What have we lost by not having more ‘sacredness’ in our lives?”

His hope was to spark one action: a moment of pause.

Reading that, I felt a deep resonance. I had already stepped away from the 24/7 freelance grind, but the mental habits of hustle culture were stubborn ghosts. The frantic energy, the guilt for pausing — these were my default settings. The word ‘pause’ in Rainn’s passage wasn’t a life raft from a sinking ship, but a validation for the dry land I was already standing on. It was permission to make my new reality feel not just like a break, but like a sacred, permanent shift.

So I closed the book, set my phone aside, and applied this new lens of ‘sacredness’ to the peace I was trying to build.

Here’s what I discovered in that sacred pause:

What is holy to me is not the output; it’s the process. It’s the sacred act of healing, writing, and creating between 8 AM and noon each day. It’s the time I spend journaling to untangle childhood traumas and insecurities, not just to become a better businessman, but to become a whole man. This is the foundation upon which a meaningful life—and a sustainable business—is built.

Sacredness lives as a feeling in the heart of my being. It’s not an abstract concept; it’s a tangible energy I can locate in the center of my chest. It’s the universal love and joy I can access through a momentary pause, a deep breath, a conscious re-centering. It’s my internal home base, and I had been away from home for far too long.

What should be sacred to all of us is getting out of the hustle culture. It’s making non-negotiable pauses to reflect, realign, and simplify. The endless heist for money, fame, and power is a hollow game. The true spiritual journey is the one that leads to an inner happiness independent of outside factors—the kind of success that no market crash can ever take away.

That Tuesday afternoon grind? The constant busyness devoid of meaning? That is the opposite of sacred. It’s what leads us away from our true path. But here’s the beautiful paradox I learned: that feeling of emptiness, that volcanic pressure of dissatisfaction, is also what eventually forces us onto a spiritual quest. It’s the catalyst. As Thich Nhat Hanh said,

“in the sunlight of awareness, everything becomes sacred.”

Even our burnout can become a teacher if we pay attention.

So, what have we lost by not having more sacredness in our lives? We have lost our peace. And peace is the most precious wealth in the world. For this very reason, my current LinkedIn banner states:

“There is no greater wealth in this world than peace of mind.”

See it here and connect.

Without it, we cannot serve others or ourselves in our highest possible way. We just spin on the hamster wheel, wondering why we’re so tired but getting nowhere.

Your Practical Pause: A 5-Minute Business Strategy

This isn’t woo-woo; it’s the most practical productivity hack you’ll ever adopt. Your sacred pause is your strategic advantage. It’s what prevents burnout and fuels authentic creativity.

Here’s how to start, today:

1. Set a timer for 5 minutes. Do this before you check email or social media.

2. Ask yourself just one of Rainn’s questions: “What is holy to me personally in my work or life today?” or “Where can I find a pocket of the sacred in my schedule?”

3. Listen. Not with your brain, but with that feeling in the center of your chest. The first answer that arises without ego—that’s your truth.

4. Protect it. That thing that came up? That’s your new non-negotiable. It is more important than one more email.

When I started doing this, everything changed. I didn’t work less; I worked better. My creativity became more focused, my energy more sustainable, and my connection with my clients more genuine because I was no longer running on empty. I was serving from a place of overflow.

I regained my peace. And from that place of quiet wealth, everything else flows.

What is one thing that is sacred in your work and life? Share it in the comments below. Let’s create a living library of what truly matters.

If this piece resonated with you, you’ll love our weekly Simple and Aligned newsletter. Every week, we share one simple prompt, one insight, and one actionable tip to help you stay connected to what’s sacred in your work and life, so you can build a business that feels like a calling. Join us here and get free access to our ever-expanding library of PDF-guides for more conscious living and success.

With love and alignment,
Cristof (and Sophia)

My Cure for Entrepreneurial Anxiety Came From an Unlikely Source: Rainn Wilson

I was drowning in doubt over my business metrics. A brutally honest sentence from "Soul Boom" led me to a 3-minute practice that changed everything.

Photo by Keegan Houser on Unsplash

Disclosure: This article links book titles to their Amazon.com listings using affiliate links. If you choose to click them and make a purchase, we may earn a small commission.

The knot in my stomach was back.

I’d just closed the tabs—our Medium stats, our affiliate dashboard—and the familiar script started playing in my head: “See? The numbers don’t lie. Maybe you and Sophia don’t have anything meaningful to contribute after all.”

I felt it physically. The weight on my shoulders, the tightness in my jaw. The material results of our fledgling company, Simple and Aligned, were all I could see, and they were shouting that we were failing.

I felt really, well, frigging unhappy.

And in that moment, a line from a book I was reading echoed in my mind like it was written just for this exact feeling. It was from page 76 of Rainn Wilson’s Soul Boom: Why We Need a Spiritual Revolution:

“I needed to seek spirituality because I was really frigging unhappy.”

It was so blunt. So undeniably honest. It wasn't a complex theory; it was a survival instinct. My own search for spirituality started from a similar place.

My whole life, I’ve been fascinated by the non-material. I grew up in relative material abundance; whenever I had a wish that wasn't too outrageous, I could usually put it on my list for my birthday or Christmas and get it. I remember wishing for an electric guitar, and boom, a month or two later, I had it. I wished for an amp to go with it, and boom, I got that too.

It felt nice to have them, to play around with them. But I already had so many "toys." I had a computer, golf equipment, two bicycles, a closet full of clothes, an acoustic guitar, a cello, and shelves overflowing with books and games. The truth was, I had accumulated so many more things than I had time to actually use them. And in that realization, they became completely meaningless. The joy of acquisition was fleeting, replaced by the quiet burden of possession.

By 15, that feeling had crystallized into a genuine curiosity. If a new guitar or gadget couldn't provide a lasting answer, what could? It was this search that led me to a conversation I’ll never forget. I happened to run into my religious education teacher while walking across town. We fell into step together, and I found myself asking him the biggest question of all: “What is the meaning of life?”

He didn't offer a textbook answer or a complex philosophical theory. He just stopped, looked at me with genuine sincerity, and said, “That is a very good question.” Then he added, “It’s one I also don’t have an answer for.” His humble admission was surprisingly powerful. It didn't shut down my question; it validated it. It signaled that this was a real quest, not something with a simple answer in the back of a book.

The answer began years later, thanks to my wife, Sophia, who introduced me to meditation, and a book I got from my dad, The Diamond Cutter by Geshe Michael Roach, which showed me how ancient wisdom applies to modern problems. I learned that the answer wasn't in the next viral post or product launch; it was inside me. Rainn Wilson defines spirituality as that which is “not of material… not tangible.” It’s the meaning, the purpose, the connection—the stuff that truly matters, but you can’t put a price tag on.

My moment of despair over our stats was the latest alarm bell, signaling that I’d forgotten that. I’d become attached to the material outcome and disconnected from the non-material why.

Rainn’s quote was the spark that brought me back to that teenage feeling. It was the permission slip to admit the material world wasn't enough. But the solution? That didn’t come from his book. His blunt honesty inspired me to reflect and consciously excavate a practice from my own toolkit, built from years of meditation and introspection with Sophia.

It wasn't created in the moment of despair, but in a quiet moment of reflection afterwards, specifically because his words resonated so deeply. I asked myself: "What is my actual, practical response to being 'really frigging unhappy'?" This is what I developed:

The 3-Step “Body & Breath” Reset

1. Play Sentinel. Your first job isn’t to fight the feeling, but to notice it. Mentally acknowledge it: “Ah, there you are, doubt. And you, unhappiness.” Stop seeing these thoughts as “you” and instead see them as visitors. Just naming them—“I see you”—creates a tiny sliver of space between you and the panic. You are the watcher, not the storm.

2. Breathe and Locate. Take one slow, deep breath. As you breathe out, scan your body. “Where does this doubt live?” For me, it’s a definite tightness in my jaw and a heavy pressure on my shoulders. Don’t try to make it go away. Just shine a light on it. Okay, it’s right here. This moves the problem from the abstract mind into the tangible body, where it’s easier to work with.

3. Smile and Send Love. This part feels a little weird until you do it. Put a gentle, soft smile on your face—not because you’re happy, but as an act of kindness toward yourself. Then, direct that feeling of compassion inward, right toward the area of tension. Mentally whisper, “Thank you for trying to protect me. I see you. It’s okay. You can relax now.”

Radiate acceptance instead of resistance. The tension may not vanish instantly, but its power over you will. It dissolves from a screaming alarm into a quiet whisper you can calmly listen to.

(For extra credit, ask that tension, “What are you here to teach me?” and journal the answer. It might be about a deeper fear of being irrelevant—a much richer insight than just “the stats are low.”)

That three-minute practice completely shifted my energy. I stopped frantically thinking about what was wrong with our strategy and remembered what was right with our purpose: to be of service. The doubt was a passenger, not the driver.

The material results of our work will always ebb and flow. But my ability to return to a place of joy and purpose in the process? That’s a spiritual skill no algorithm can touch.

And it all started with a sentence in a book from an unlikely spiritual guide, giving me the courage to admit I was unhappy, and the inspiration to find my own way out.

If Rainn Wilson’s blunt honesty speaks to you like it did to me, and inspires you to find your own tools, you can find his book, Soul Boom: Why We Need a Spiritual Revolution, here.

If this personal journey and practice resonated with you, and you want more insights for aligning your mind and your work, join our Simple and Aligned Newsletter. We share the tools and discoveries that don't show up anywhere else.

What’s a quote that recently inspired you to create a change? Share it in the comments below—I’d love to hear what’s sparking your own solutions.

How a 400-Year-Old Poet Taught Me to Quit My Grind and Trust My Breath

And why your most valuable offering has nothing to do with your output.

Photo by Todd Quackenbush on Unsplash

I was reading Rainn Wilson’s Soul Boom the other day, searching for some spiritual ammunition against the constant low-grade anxiety of being a solopreneur.

You know the feeling. That pressure to perform, to monetize, to prove your worth in a world that measures it in likes and revenue.

Then, on page 117, I found a quiet bombshell. Wilson was writing about Matsuo Basho, the legendary 17th-century Japanese poet.

He described Basho’s process: he walked dozens of miles a day on a poetic pilgrimage. He didn’t force it. He just noticed. The specific way the light hit a leaf. The sound of the breeze in the cottonwood trees. The change of the seasons.

His day would end at a sacred spot—a temple, a bridge, a harbor. And then, from that place of quiet observation, he would compose a single poem. He’d leave it behind as an offering. A gift. No fanfare. No affiliate link. No worrying if it was “valuable” enough.

He lived by a simple idea:

“To live poetry is better than to write it.”

When I read that, I put the book down. My heart ached with longing, and tension arose. It was the tension between the life I felt called to live and the life I felt forced to live to pay the bills.

My “pilgrimage” looked like this: Staring at a blank screen, my mind screaming, “What can you create that people will buy?” Trying to please an algorithm instead of a soul. Agonizing over every word, every offer, every post, terrified it wouldn’t be “smart” enough or valuable enough to justify my chosen path.

The fear behind it all? The deep, cringing embarrassment of failing in front of my family and friends. The terrifying thought: What if I run out of savings? What if I’ve just wasted my life?

Basho’s life was the absolute opposite of that fear. He wasn’t concerned with proving his worth. He knew his worth was inherent in the journey itself. As he said, “the journey itself is my home.”

His value wasn’t in the poem he produced at the end of the day. It was in the act of walking, seeing, and breathing. The poem was simply the natural exhale after a day of deep inhalation.

And that’s when it hit me. We’ve been looking at value all wrong.

We think we have to become valuable through our output. We have to prove our worth through our productivity and our bank accounts. We’re like squirrels, but with a pathological twist—we’re not just saving for winter; we’re hoarding for a retirement 40 years away, all while forgetting to live in the present season of our lives.

But look at nature. The tree outside my office window doesn’t ask, “What is the ROI on my oxygen?” My cat doesn’t fret about her career path. They simply are. And by being, they provide immense, life-sustaining value.

Our existence is our first and greatest offering.

Just by breathing, we are in a sacred exchange with the world. We inhale oxygen (O2) given to us by the plants. We exhale carbon dioxide (CO2) that they need to survive. Our mere presence is a vital gift. We are inherently worthy, simply because we are here.

So if our fundamental state of being is already valuable, what does that mean for our doing?

It means our work, our creations, our businesses should not be frantic attempts to become worthy. They should be natural extensions of our already-worthy selves. They should be the poem we leave behind after a day of paying attention.

The goal shifts from “How can I make money?” to “What wants to flow through me?” From “What will people buy?” to “What is my unique offering?”

This isn’t a naive rejection of money. It’s a strategic embrace of authenticity. When you create from that aligned, unforced place, you stand out. Your work carries a resonance that manufactured content never will. Paradoxically, letting go of the need for it to generate income is often the very thing that allows it to do so, because people are drawn to genuine value, not desperate grabs for attention.

So, how do we start? We take a “Basho Step.”

We don’t need to quit our jobs and wander Japan (though the dream is nice!). We can start right now, in the middle of our messy, modern lives.

Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to do one of these tomorrow:

1. The Noticing Walk: Go for a five-minute walk. Your only job is to notice one specific, beautiful detail. The way moss grows on a stone. The pattern of cracks on the sidewalk. Text that observation to a friend. No context needed. That’s your offering.

2. The Identity Draft: Take a piece of paper and write: “The kind of person I want to be is…” Don’t attach to it being true now. Just let it flow. This is an offering to your future self.

3. The Intuitive Nudge: Sit in stillness for three minutes. Ask, “What small, kind act wants to flow through me today?” Then do it. Send the message of forgiveness. Make the call. That is your offering.

The goal isn’t to create a masterpiece. The goal is to practice the posture of offering. To prove to yourself that your value isn’t out there, waiting to be earned.

It’s right here, in your breath. In your attention. In your willingness to walk your own path and leave your unique poem behind.

What wants to flow through you today?

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If this reflection resonated with you, the wisdom that started it all can be found in Rainn Wilson’s wonderful book, Soul Boom: Why We Need a Spiritual Revolution*. (*Amazon.com affiliate link: If you choose to click it and make a purchase, we may earn a small commission.)

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If you're tired of the grind and want to build a life and business that feels as simple and aligned as Basho's walk, join us on a deeper journey. Sophia and I share exclusive insights, practical exercises, and personal stories in our Simple and Aligned Newsletter. It’s where we explore how to quiet the noise, trust your intuition, and let your work flow from your truest self.

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— Cristof (and Sophia) from Simple and Aligned